In my head my phlegm was a bit more raspy...I guess that's what you get for singing with the voice :P
Monday, 23 January 2012
Friday, 20 January 2012
Sing my angel...
sing for me....
okay, maybe not angel.
Maybe more like mum who needs a hobby
<3 you huney!
see you tomorrow!
okay, maybe not angel.
Maybe more like mum who needs a hobby
<3 you huney!
see you tomorrow!
Thursday, 19 January 2012
The home hunt
I have been living in England for a year and half now...July is approaching fast and it will mark the two year anniversary.
When we moved to England we had the wonderful support of The Relocation Consultancy. Seriously I couldn't of asked for better help with our move. They did everything and I'm forever grateful. We picked a house based on location (in a village, close to school and great commute times). It's a lovely house for Canadians who have waaaay to much big furniture! Yes we took our furniture! Why? well it was cheeper to bring it then to store it. Hubby and I have been living together for a long time and we've collected a lot of furniture that we love and adore and couldn't replace. So it came and here we all are. Now a year and a half in, we're on the house hunt again! Good lord, will these Davey's never stop!?
We've come to the realization that this house; although lovely, is too expensive. In order for us to buy a house in the very near future (right huney?) we need to save and save big. This house will not allow for that. We're only supposed to be in the UK for another year and half, but as we know... that looks more like a dream then reality. I'm thinking probably closer to another 3 years.
So the hunt has led us to the small, the smaller, the dirty, and the wows. Reality is we need a house for five people and company. We don't have company often, but we do get some and the house needs to support that. We also have LARGE furniture (as I said before). We did fall in love with a lovely 1920's home. Fell head over heels. It was the type of home that you would never leave. We would of done anything to stay there and make it ours. That was the problem. We found out it recently sold for 1.7 million pounds! who the f can afford that?!
So hereI we are, on the hunt. Something else has stolen my heart. A very dirty and unloved Oast house. For those of you who are wondering what an Oast house is let me show you
**PLEASE NOTE, THIS ISN'T THE HOUSE...JUST WHAT AN OAST HOUSE LOOKS LIKE!**
They are lovely when cared for and converted properly. The house I have found is anything but cared for and loved. Hubby couldn't get out of the house fast enough, I on the other hand...well it was like Jerry Maguire, you had me at restored beams.
It's close to schools if we want to change, its rural (with footpaths and green all around), it's located steps to the rail and it's priced well below budget. Honestly it doesn't get better then that. So will we fit? Not sure. The bathrooms are small, the house is smaller...but the house. It needs me. We have other options that we are looking at...but something tells me that this is our house.
Unfortunately for our family there is a burning question that will soon need an answer. Are we going to stay in the UK?
I can say, 'I don't know'. Really that is the heart of it. I don't know. If we stay here for another 3 years; The princess will be almost 9 Mario 7 and Luigi 5. They are still young; but at that point, should we move? I don't have answers. So with that on my brain, I'm trying to find a house that in the future we could buy if we wanted to. The Oast house is also for sale.
I am a Cancer. All Cancer's need a home. We need a place that we know is ours. I'm getting over the fact that I'm not looking for my forever home right now, just a rental. But my Cancer says find the home you love, because you never know.
There is so many options out there for us, my head is spinning. Do we leave our area, move to a whole different area? What about commuting times? What about schools? should we change schools? What happens if we need to add more commuting time? Seriously this has been my thought process since November. NOVEMBER people! It's time to stop the madness, I need to find a place before I go cuckoo!
Will you dear reader, for my sanity pray I find the way. In meeting (Quaker) a couple of weeks ago God told me that he is preparing a house...did he mean it literally? like as in the house needs renovating? Dear God, I'm now trying to figure out the great riddles of the world...
Anyway, pray for clarity. I just can't see with all these questions!
When we moved to England we had the wonderful support of The Relocation Consultancy. Seriously I couldn't of asked for better help with our move. They did everything and I'm forever grateful. We picked a house based on location (in a village, close to school and great commute times). It's a lovely house for Canadians who have waaaay to much big furniture! Yes we took our furniture! Why? well it was cheeper to bring it then to store it. Hubby and I have been living together for a long time and we've collected a lot of furniture that we love and adore and couldn't replace. So it came and here we all are. Now a year and a half in, we're on the house hunt again! Good lord, will these Davey's never stop!?
We've come to the realization that this house; although lovely, is too expensive. In order for us to buy a house in the very near future (right huney?) we need to save and save big. This house will not allow for that. We're only supposed to be in the UK for another year and half, but as we know... that looks more like a dream then reality. I'm thinking probably closer to another 3 years.
So the hunt has led us to the small, the smaller, the dirty, and the wows. Reality is we need a house for five people and company. We don't have company often, but we do get some and the house needs to support that. We also have LARGE furniture (as I said before). We did fall in love with a lovely 1920's home. Fell head over heels. It was the type of home that you would never leave. We would of done anything to stay there and make it ours. That was the problem. We found out it recently sold for 1.7 million pounds! who the f can afford that?!
So here
**PLEASE NOTE, THIS ISN'T THE HOUSE...JUST WHAT AN OAST HOUSE LOOKS LIKE!**
They are lovely when cared for and converted properly. The house I have found is anything but cared for and loved. Hubby couldn't get out of the house fast enough, I on the other hand...well it was like Jerry Maguire, you had me at restored beams.
It's close to schools if we want to change, its rural (with footpaths and green all around), it's located steps to the rail and it's priced well below budget. Honestly it doesn't get better then that. So will we fit? Not sure. The bathrooms are small, the house is smaller...but the house. It needs me. We have other options that we are looking at...but something tells me that this is our house.
Unfortunately for our family there is a burning question that will soon need an answer. Are we going to stay in the UK?
I can say, 'I don't know'. Really that is the heart of it. I don't know. If we stay here for another 3 years; The princess will be almost 9 Mario 7 and Luigi 5. They are still young; but at that point, should we move? I don't have answers. So with that on my brain, I'm trying to find a house that in the future we could buy if we wanted to. The Oast house is also for sale.
I am a Cancer. All Cancer's need a home. We need a place that we know is ours. I'm getting over the fact that I'm not looking for my forever home right now, just a rental. But my Cancer says find the home you love, because you never know.
There is so many options out there for us, my head is spinning. Do we leave our area, move to a whole different area? What about commuting times? What about schools? should we change schools? What happens if we need to add more commuting time? Seriously this has been my thought process since November. NOVEMBER people! It's time to stop the madness, I need to find a place before I go cuckoo!
Will you dear reader, for my sanity pray I find the way. In meeting (Quaker) a couple of weeks ago God told me that he is preparing a house...did he mean it literally? like as in the house needs renovating? Dear God, I'm now trying to figure out the great riddles of the world...
Anyway, pray for clarity. I just can't see with all these questions!
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
the snail mail project
Happy New Year Dear Reader!
I know it's been some time since I blogged. I haven't forgotten my wee blog promise. But I have been consumed by Christmas, New year and house hunting.
As most of you know once I get 'on' something, it's really hard for me to do much else.
Well here I am! I have Christmas and New Years off my plate, house hunting is on the main front line..but I can blog and do that...can't I?
Our rental is due in Summer and our landlord is looking to sell soon. I thought it would be better if I get on the hunting sooner rather then later. Plus this house is loads more money then one should spend on a rental! We have looked at many houses and nothing really seems to fit the bill. Too small, to run down, not close enough to rail, not close enough to school and everything in between. We may have found a gem in an Oast House, but time will tell. It's in bad shape, and I'm not sure any amount of love will make it a lovely place to live for the time we have left here. Stay tuned!
I was reading something this morning on how to attracted readers to your blog. I'm not trying to attract anyone really. Just a good read. One of the points made was mail outs. Not emails, who wants more email? but snail mail. You know, the shit before email became the shit?
Not sure what I could mail you about, could be anything really. So I'm wondering; Dear Reader, would YOU like a letter? Just for you? delivered to your door? with my messy hand writing? Call it the snail mail project if you like. A way to get my hand writing again and the mail man working for his dollar.
If you dear reader are interested in the snail mail project please email me at thesnailmailproject@gmail.com
Maybe once I get going on snail mail, I can get others involved too. okay okay, one letter at a time!
xo
I know it's been some time since I blogged. I haven't forgotten my wee blog promise. But I have been consumed by Christmas, New year and house hunting.
As most of you know once I get 'on' something, it's really hard for me to do much else.
Well here I am! I have Christmas and New Years off my plate, house hunting is on the main front line..but I can blog and do that...can't I?
Our rental is due in Summer and our landlord is looking to sell soon. I thought it would be better if I get on the hunting sooner rather then later. Plus this house is loads more money then one should spend on a rental! We have looked at many houses and nothing really seems to fit the bill. Too small, to run down, not close enough to rail, not close enough to school and everything in between. We may have found a gem in an Oast House, but time will tell. It's in bad shape, and I'm not sure any amount of love will make it a lovely place to live for the time we have left here. Stay tuned!
I was reading something this morning on how to attracted readers to your blog. I'm not trying to attract anyone really. Just a good read. One of the points made was mail outs. Not emails, who wants more email? but snail mail. You know, the shit before email became the shit?
Not sure what I could mail you about, could be anything really. So I'm wondering; Dear Reader, would YOU like a letter? Just for you? delivered to your door? with my messy hand writing? Call it the snail mail project if you like. A way to get my hand writing again and the mail man working for his dollar.
If you dear reader are interested in the snail mail project please email me at thesnailmailproject@gmail.com
Maybe once I get going on snail mail, I can get others involved too. okay okay, one letter at a time!
xo
Wednesday, 14 December 2011
Even YOU can have a yoga practice.
YES YOU!
I know that for most of you the thought of yoga is scary. It's posing and bending your body in ways you think you can't do. Yoga is about time and energy that you may think you don't have. Yoga to you might be about a journey that you just don't want to take.
I'm telling you dear reader that even you can have a yoga practice. In fact, I insist on it. Yoga doesn't have to be about bending and stretching for long periods of time. It doesn't have to be about hours of commitment. It doesn't have to be scary.
Yoga for me started quite a long time ago. I took a class it was 8 weeks and I learned that my body, COULD do amazing things. I returned for part two of the class, but called it quits after only a few sessions..I have to admit that the instructor did tip the scale in me wanting to return ;) but he was very distracting with his muscles and his tone and that beach hair and the way he said things like 'bend slowly, into my direction'.....mmmmmm
where was I?
Oh yes
here, I'm right here.
I have returned to my practice in full force as some of you may know. I used to dabble in it once a month, for that special moon phase where a woman feels all glowy and wants to give her self warm baths and soft yoga...
I have actually extended it to weeks now. and I feel ALIVE. I feel better emotionally and physically then I have in YEARS! YEARS dear reader! This is huge for me.
Now I don't spend hours on my practice, because really what mum of three has that time?! I wake up at 5 as per normal, and instead of Jillian Michaels I pull out my mat and get to work. With each breath and each pose I exhale the negative and accept the positive. I make sure that I leave the anger with the exhale. I can honestly say I can't live without my practice. I can't go a day without some form of yoga. This has brought me to a place that allows me to live like a normal person (what ever that is).
My yoga practice has given me the freedom to actually enjoy this life. I am enjoying getting up in the morning. I'm enjoying being with my kids. I'm enjoying walking to school. I'm enjoying being me again. I feel such a sense of center, it's mind blowing. I want you to enjoy life too dear reader.
I only do 30-40 minutes a day. That's all I do. I start with what I love then work my way to something new. I do it in the way I enjoy and I do the poses until my body tells me to move. This is the practice I've always wanted. I don't (sadly) have time to finish my practice with meditation...but Sunday's Quaker meetings are helping with that.
I'm telling you dear read that you don't have to move your body in ways that are scary and you don't have to spend all day on it!
Here's a few easy ones. Try a few, work your way from there! I promise you, it's going to ground you and center you and give you focus...it's a practice and it's going to take practice. So don't expect to be perfect! xo
Warrior 2
Tree Pose
I know that for most of you the thought of yoga is scary. It's posing and bending your body in ways you think you can't do. Yoga is about time and energy that you may think you don't have. Yoga to you might be about a journey that you just don't want to take.
I'm telling you dear reader that even you can have a yoga practice. In fact, I insist on it. Yoga doesn't have to be about bending and stretching for long periods of time. It doesn't have to be about hours of commitment. It doesn't have to be scary.
Yoga for me started quite a long time ago. I took a class it was 8 weeks and I learned that my body, COULD do amazing things. I returned for part two of the class, but called it quits after only a few sessions..I have to admit that the instructor did tip the scale in me wanting to return ;) but he was very distracting with his muscles and his tone and that beach hair and the way he said things like 'bend slowly, into my direction'.....mmmmmm
where was I?
Oh yes
here, I'm right here.
I have returned to my practice in full force as some of you may know. I used to dabble in it once a month, for that special moon phase where a woman feels all glowy and wants to give her self warm baths and soft yoga...
I have actually extended it to weeks now. and I feel ALIVE. I feel better emotionally and physically then I have in YEARS! YEARS dear reader! This is huge for me.
Now I don't spend hours on my practice, because really what mum of three has that time?! I wake up at 5 as per normal, and instead of Jillian Michaels I pull out my mat and get to work. With each breath and each pose I exhale the negative and accept the positive. I make sure that I leave the anger with the exhale. I can honestly say I can't live without my practice. I can't go a day without some form of yoga. This has brought me to a place that allows me to live like a normal person (what ever that is).
My yoga practice has given me the freedom to actually enjoy this life. I am enjoying getting up in the morning. I'm enjoying being with my kids. I'm enjoying walking to school. I'm enjoying being me again. I feel such a sense of center, it's mind blowing. I want you to enjoy life too dear reader.
I only do 30-40 minutes a day. That's all I do. I start with what I love then work my way to something new. I do it in the way I enjoy and I do the poses until my body tells me to move. This is the practice I've always wanted. I don't (sadly) have time to finish my practice with meditation...but Sunday's Quaker meetings are helping with that.
I'm telling you dear read that you don't have to move your body in ways that are scary and you don't have to spend all day on it!
Here's a few easy ones. Try a few, work your way from there! I promise you, it's going to ground you and center you and give you focus...it's a practice and it's going to take practice. So don't expect to be perfect! xo
Warrior 2
Child's Pose
Happy Baby
Extended Side Angle
Please feel free to take that arm that is on her ankle and rest is on your bent leg!
You see dear Reader, these aren't scary! and you can do them with the kids! you can do this, you will enjoy it. Don't rush, don't feel the need to be perfect, breath, don't forget to BREATH!
xo
Namaste
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
Gift getting, gift buying
you know, I'm really tired of these ads telling men what not to buy for women. I'm tired of seeing ads telling us what we should and shouldn't buy for kids. I'm actually tired of seeing gift guides at all.
Maybe these are helpful. maybe.
Isn't Christmas supposed to be about something more then gifts?? I thought Christmas was about spending time with family and friends, decorating a beautiful tree, eating waay too much, a walk in fresh snow (if you are lucky!). I thought Christmas was about making sparkly crafts with the kids. I thought it was a warm fire and a long snuggle. I thought it was a time of year to remember how blessed we truly are.
Sure, gift are lovely. It's always nice to know that someone thought of you. But it's not the point of the season. I really feel that if I get a gift, any gift. No matter what it is, I'm just grateful. Now don't get me wrong, I do hand in my list to Santa. But I'm in no way 1) expecting everything 2) expecting anything 3) mad at any point if Santa decides that what I really need is a blender and not a green Tiffany's box.
I have to giveHubby Santa credit, he's really really good at shopping. Really good. But I don't expect anything at Christmas. I'm happy to have the day come and know it's Christmas.
I think we're getting a little greedy as the years go one. We're getting to the point where we're ungrateful if someone buys us a gift that doesn't fit our ideal. Sure we get some weird, strange and unusual things. But seriously, someone thought about you for a minute and bought you something.
I think it's time we rethink things. Christmas isn't the season of giving and getting. It's the season to be grateful. We are so blessed. So very very blessed.
Maybe these are helpful. maybe.
Isn't Christmas supposed to be about something more then gifts?? I thought Christmas was about spending time with family and friends, decorating a beautiful tree, eating waay too much, a walk in fresh snow (if you are lucky!). I thought Christmas was about making sparkly crafts with the kids. I thought it was a warm fire and a long snuggle. I thought it was a time of year to remember how blessed we truly are.
Sure, gift are lovely. It's always nice to know that someone thought of you. But it's not the point of the season. I really feel that if I get a gift, any gift. No matter what it is, I'm just grateful. Now don't get me wrong, I do hand in my list to Santa. But I'm in no way 1) expecting everything 2) expecting anything 3) mad at any point if Santa decides that what I really need is a blender and not a green Tiffany's box.
I have to give
I think we're getting a little greedy as the years go one. We're getting to the point where we're ungrateful if someone buys us a gift that doesn't fit our ideal. Sure we get some weird, strange and unusual things. But seriously, someone thought about you for a minute and bought you something.
I think it's time we rethink things. Christmas isn't the season of giving and getting. It's the season to be grateful. We are so blessed. So very very blessed.
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Happy Holidays?
This is the season of Christmas. Christmas. The christian holiday, where we all celebrate the birth of Jesus and buy each other pressies. That's christmas. For some people is a holiday steeped in Religion, for others its just another reason to buy gifts and spend money. No matter who you are, what color you are, what gender you are or who you love. This is Christmas. I refuse to call it by any other name then Christmas. It's not holiday season. This is Christmas season.
Can someone please tell me who is upset by this holiday? Are you? Are you Jewish, Muslum, Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist, Pagan, or any other Religion? Are you upset that we celebrate Christmas?
What about Diwali? You know the Hinduism holiday. The one where they decorate the house with lights and paint colorful patterns and send their family cards.
What about Wesak? You know the Buddhist holiday. The one where they hang lanterns, Monks may give out blessing strings as birthday gifts and they may even exchange small gifts.
What about Baisakhi? You know the Sikhism holiday. The one where they have parades in the streets, decorate with bright orange and blue balloons and give money to charity.
What about Hanukkah? You know the Jewish holiday. The one where they light the menorah, they exchange gifts, send cards, eat special food (cooked in oil), and play special Hanukkah games.
What about Ramadan and Eid al-Fir? You know the Islamic holiday. The one where they send cards, give money to the poor, fast then eat a big meal with family (maybe friends).
Do these all sound the same? Am I offended? Should I be?
you see dear Reader, we live in a place call Earth. It is filled with people of all different color and race. It is filled with people of all different religions. It is filled with men who love men, women who love women and men and women who love each other. It is filled with a beautiful word called diversity. It's what makes this world, a world.
It doesn't matter if I celebrate Ramadan or Hanukkah. It doesn't matter if I'm gay or straight. It doesn't matter if I'm black or white.
This is Christmas. Christmas. It has always been Christmas and it always will be Christmas. So again; please dear Reader, tell me, is it YOU who is offended? if it is you who is offended. Can you tell me why? Why should this offended you when we all celebrate the same holiday? You may call it Diwali and I may call it Christmas. I may celebrate in December and you may celebrate in November. I may have a tree with lights you may have a Menorah with lights. I may eat a turkey and you might eat Samosas.
We are are all celebrating something. We are all bringing family and friends together at some point to celebrate. We all have a special time of the year that brings us together. The truth of the matter is; we just don't make a big deal about your special holidays like we do ours. Do I know why? no. Do you want Hanukkah all over our malls and shops? Do you want everyone singing Diwali songs?
To me as a Christian celebrating Christmas, I would not be offended in the least and I would actually support your cause if you wanted your holiday broadcasted for the whole world to see.
Am I off my rocker here? Why is everyone is such war over Christmas? It's Christmas!
*I'm not trying to offend anyone here, I'm just hoping to point out the crazy amount of similarity in all our holidays. I also use the world holiday because we're in 'holiday' spirit. I know some of the above 'holidays' are more festivals.*
Much love dear reader and Merry Christmas. How every you celebrate it by which ever name you call it.
xo
Can someone please tell me who is upset by this holiday? Are you? Are you Jewish, Muslum, Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist, Pagan, or any other Religion? Are you upset that we celebrate Christmas?
What about Diwali? You know the Hinduism holiday. The one where they decorate the house with lights and paint colorful patterns and send their family cards.
What about Wesak? You know the Buddhist holiday. The one where they hang lanterns, Monks may give out blessing strings as birthday gifts and they may even exchange small gifts.
What about Baisakhi? You know the Sikhism holiday. The one where they have parades in the streets, decorate with bright orange and blue balloons and give money to charity.
What about Hanukkah? You know the Jewish holiday. The one where they light the menorah, they exchange gifts, send cards, eat special food (cooked in oil), and play special Hanukkah games.
What about Ramadan and Eid al-Fir? You know the Islamic holiday. The one where they send cards, give money to the poor, fast then eat a big meal with family (maybe friends).
Do these all sound the same? Am I offended? Should I be?
you see dear Reader, we live in a place call Earth. It is filled with people of all different color and race. It is filled with people of all different religions. It is filled with men who love men, women who love women and men and women who love each other. It is filled with a beautiful word called diversity. It's what makes this world, a world.
It doesn't matter if I celebrate Ramadan or Hanukkah. It doesn't matter if I'm gay or straight. It doesn't matter if I'm black or white.
This is Christmas. Christmas. It has always been Christmas and it always will be Christmas. So again; please dear Reader, tell me, is it YOU who is offended? if it is you who is offended. Can you tell me why? Why should this offended you when we all celebrate the same holiday? You may call it Diwali and I may call it Christmas. I may celebrate in December and you may celebrate in November. I may have a tree with lights you may have a Menorah with lights. I may eat a turkey and you might eat Samosas.
We are are all celebrating something. We are all bringing family and friends together at some point to celebrate. We all have a special time of the year that brings us together. The truth of the matter is; we just don't make a big deal about your special holidays like we do ours. Do I know why? no. Do you want Hanukkah all over our malls and shops? Do you want everyone singing Diwali songs?
To me as a Christian celebrating Christmas, I would not be offended in the least and I would actually support your cause if you wanted your holiday broadcasted for the whole world to see.
Am I off my rocker here? Why is everyone is such war over Christmas? It's Christmas!
*I'm not trying to offend anyone here, I'm just hoping to point out the crazy amount of similarity in all our holidays. I also use the world holiday because we're in 'holiday' spirit. I know some of the above 'holidays' are more festivals.*
Much love dear reader and Merry Christmas. How every you celebrate it by which ever name you call it.
xo
Thursday, 8 December 2011
Thoughtful Thursday
Today I figure, being Thursday and it going well with thoughtful. Would be a good day to post something that would give you enrichment. Something that you could take with you in your pocket. Small words. Little phrase. Something thoughtful. Today is a good day to bring your thoughts present. Meaning, bring your thoughts to the now. Are you living today, or are you stuck in the past? Is your brain getting lost in the future? Are you truly living now?
I find so often our brains get stuck in over drive and we start to miss the things that are around us. How many times have you driven yourself to work, only to arrive and wonder how you got there. How many times have you wanted a drink, found yourself in the laundry room going 'what did I need?'
We need to start thinking about where we are now; and not how the next part is going to play out, or how we arrived there. In your current activity are you presently involved? When your rolling around with the kids is your brain making dinner? maybe it's thinking about the clothes that need to be put away? When your sitting and meditating, are you paying bills or balancing your check book?
When is the last time that you went for a walk and truly went for a walk? Are the birds singing? Is the wind blowing? Do you notice the color of the sky? Can you hear dogs parking? Are there children playing? Do you notice how your feet aren't touching the cracks? Are your kids with you? Are they talking? Are you cold? Maybe your getting warm from your body being in motion?
There is so much going on in our lives, that I think we forget how to be. We are human beings after all...not human doings.
xo
The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. -Buddha-
I find so often our brains get stuck in over drive and we start to miss the things that are around us. How many times have you driven yourself to work, only to arrive and wonder how you got there. How many times have you wanted a drink, found yourself in the laundry room going 'what did I need?'
We need to start thinking about where we are now; and not how the next part is going to play out, or how we arrived there. In your current activity are you presently involved? When your rolling around with the kids is your brain making dinner? maybe it's thinking about the clothes that need to be put away? When your sitting and meditating, are you paying bills or balancing your check book?
When is the last time that you went for a walk and truly went for a walk? Are the birds singing? Is the wind blowing? Do you notice the color of the sky? Can you hear dogs parking? Are there children playing? Do you notice how your feet aren't touching the cracks? Are your kids with you? Are they talking? Are you cold? Maybe your getting warm from your body being in motion?
There is so much going on in our lives, that I think we forget how to be. We are human beings after all...not human doings.
xo
The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. -Buddha-
Monday, 5 December 2011
spiritual redirection
As most of you know, I've been on a hardcore quest for body perfection. I've been waking up at 5am and working my ass off. I'm not expecting a Jillian Michaels body here. It would be seriously nice, but I know that I've had three kids and four pregnancies. I know I've had them close together, and I know my body was never given the chance to 'firm up'. But I would love a body that I felt comfortable with. One that I could put on a nice dress and go 'hot'. Not 'I can't wear that, because it doesn't fit over the baby belly'
I'm not going to lie. I hate working out. There is nothing that I particularly enjoy about it. I don't enjoy waking up at 5. I don't enjoy the kids joining me. I don't enjoy having to be quiet. I don't enjoy doing it on my own. But I know if I want to loose the belly. I'm going to have to fight. I've been using a mix of Jillian Michaels, Carmen Electra and some scary valley girl who burns your abs away.
Truthfully, I only have a half hour in the morning. That's all, 30-40 minutes and I need to be done. Morning is the only time I can fit this in and the kids get up early! These videos fit the bill!
Last week when my mummy left, I really felt the need to shut the hard core workers out and bring in a little OMMMMMMM. By Wednesday with the help of Yoga, I lifted the dark cloud. I also lifted a stress cloud that sat above my head. How interesting. By Friday, I felt great. Not a little great. A lot great. Due to family and wanting to sleep, the weekends are not for working out.
Today I knew I was getting up early and I thought, right enough fluffy shit I need to get back into 'working out'. By the time I had gotten changed and down stairs, Yoga was on my mind. I pulled out my mat and stretched my way into Monday.
In order for you to see real body change with Yoga, you should be doing 3 sessions a week for 90 minutes. As I said before 40 minutes is the max for me. I'm starting to wonder if there is something more to this yoga. As I feel the veil of need for a smooth body disappearing and the want for this inner calm to go on forever. I can't think of ever going back to working out hardcore. I just love the way my day starts with stretching and moving for me. The way my arms feel after extending, the way my back feels after twisting and the way my mind feels after digging deeply into poses.
I feel just a weight off my shoulders. Like I can do this. Like this job of mummy, like getting up each morning, like taking care of others all day...can work. Like I can really really do this. I really do live in a world of ups and downs and at any moment a down can come as quickly as a high was here. So far in the past week, I've just felt steady.
Yesterday, I decided to go to my first Quaker meeting. At first it felt like a support group for religious delinquents. But after my hour of quiet and inner thoughts. I really felt lifted. I felt just as I do with Yoga. Like this is all going to be all right. Strange how the two seem to fit so well together.
I feel like I've hit a block of spiritual redirection. I must admit it feels great. I feel great. I don't know if I'll ever get that 'perfect body' but right now. In this moment. I'm okay with that. Just as I'm okay with everything else going around me. I truly feel as though I have been given a gift of clarity. In a short week, my Yoga practice has become a truly important part of my day.
I feel like I needed answers I need someone/thing to take over and I just feel blessed to of found it.
Namaste
P.S I know I'm supposed to be doing 'Christmas' posts. But felt in the spirit of Christmas that a spiritual post was fitting xo
I'm not going to lie. I hate working out. There is nothing that I particularly enjoy about it. I don't enjoy waking up at 5. I don't enjoy the kids joining me. I don't enjoy having to be quiet. I don't enjoy doing it on my own. But I know if I want to loose the belly. I'm going to have to fight. I've been using a mix of Jillian Michaels, Carmen Electra and some scary valley girl who burns your abs away.
Truthfully, I only have a half hour in the morning. That's all, 30-40 minutes and I need to be done. Morning is the only time I can fit this in and the kids get up early! These videos fit the bill!
Last week when my mummy left, I really felt the need to shut the hard core workers out and bring in a little OMMMMMMM. By Wednesday with the help of Yoga, I lifted the dark cloud. I also lifted a stress cloud that sat above my head. How interesting. By Friday, I felt great. Not a little great. A lot great. Due to family and wanting to sleep, the weekends are not for working out.
Today I knew I was getting up early and I thought, right enough fluffy shit I need to get back into 'working out'. By the time I had gotten changed and down stairs, Yoga was on my mind. I pulled out my mat and stretched my way into Monday.
In order for you to see real body change with Yoga, you should be doing 3 sessions a week for 90 minutes. As I said before 40 minutes is the max for me. I'm starting to wonder if there is something more to this yoga. As I feel the veil of need for a smooth body disappearing and the want for this inner calm to go on forever. I can't think of ever going back to working out hardcore. I just love the way my day starts with stretching and moving for me. The way my arms feel after extending, the way my back feels after twisting and the way my mind feels after digging deeply into poses.
I feel just a weight off my shoulders. Like I can do this. Like this job of mummy, like getting up each morning, like taking care of others all day...can work. Like I can really really do this. I really do live in a world of ups and downs and at any moment a down can come as quickly as a high was here. So far in the past week, I've just felt steady.
Yesterday, I decided to go to my first Quaker meeting. At first it felt like a support group for religious delinquents. But after my hour of quiet and inner thoughts. I really felt lifted. I felt just as I do with Yoga. Like this is all going to be all right. Strange how the two seem to fit so well together.
I feel like I've hit a block of spiritual redirection. I must admit it feels great. I feel great. I don't know if I'll ever get that 'perfect body' but right now. In this moment. I'm okay with that. Just as I'm okay with everything else going around me. I truly feel as though I have been given a gift of clarity. In a short week, my Yoga practice has become a truly important part of my day.
I feel like I needed answers I need someone/thing to take over and I just feel blessed to of found it.
Namaste
P.S I know I'm supposed to be doing 'Christmas' posts. But felt in the spirit of Christmas that a spiritual post was fitting xo
Thursday, 1 December 2011
The Christmas party
For the month of December, I'm going to do my best to post everyday...with the spirit of Christmas. Not sure if I can do it, there is only so much Christmas you can blog about!
Today the beginning of advent, starts the process for me of getting ready for a party. Tomorrow night is hubby's work party and I've been preparing all day for tomorrow. Yes you read that right. I have spent all day getting ready for tomorrow.
We have a nanny coming to watch the kids. So the house needed to be prepped. But that is the easy work, no?
Dear readers, I am a woman who loves to prepare. I need to make sure that tomorrow, there are no hiccups. This morning, after cleaning (well tidying really) I painted my nails. A lovely shade of gray to go with my jewelry. The base coat and first coat before lunch and the finishing layers when the boys went for a rest.
I know this sounds a bit nuts. As much as I'm a woman who like to prepare. I'm also a woman who knows at any moment crisis could hit. If I'm not prepared then Ynaffit comes out, and she's not pretty. Tonight will start the 'spa' treatments. Sugar body scrub (home made if you please) hair mask, shaving and tweezing, foot treatment and I'm going to bed with a thick layer of cream on.
Okay seriously. I NEED to do these things. I'm nuts and totally off my rocker I know. But there is so much to worry about. You know you go to these parties and people grab your arms and talk closely in your face. You dance with the new guy, because that's the type of girl you are (okay, maybe it was the nudge from hubby that gets you dancing) You might get a runner in your pantyhose and have to take off your shoes, your going to have to shake hands with everyone, and then for the cherry on the Christmas pudding; the grease megamix will come on and your going to shake your tail feather.
With all these things in my brain I'm thinking OMG! a night wasn't nearly enough time to prepare. What happens if I don't tweeze enough and people think I have a mustache? What happens if I go with the spanx and I'm dancing with who knows and they wonder what I'm wearing under my dress? What happens if the big boss shakes my hands and feels that I have dish pan hands? What happens if I'm talking waaaay to close to someone and they start wondering about my unibrow? What happens if I get that runner in my pantyhose, take off my shoes and everyone starts to wonder 'what happened to her feet?!' All those people grabbing your arms! Those tiny bumps you get will HAVE to come off!!!!!
I don't think I'm over thinking this in the least. I'm don't think I'm even scratching the surface of my brain here!
Please will someone grab me a paper bag and coach me through breathing. Next I need you to come to London STAT and help me get ready....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Today the beginning of advent, starts the process for me of getting ready for a party. Tomorrow night is hubby's work party and I've been preparing all day for tomorrow. Yes you read that right. I have spent all day getting ready for tomorrow.
We have a nanny coming to watch the kids. So the house needed to be prepped. But that is the easy work, no?
Dear readers, I am a woman who loves to prepare. I need to make sure that tomorrow, there are no hiccups. This morning, after cleaning (well tidying really) I painted my nails. A lovely shade of gray to go with my jewelry. The base coat and first coat before lunch and the finishing layers when the boys went for a rest.
I know this sounds a bit nuts. As much as I'm a woman who like to prepare. I'm also a woman who knows at any moment crisis could hit. If I'm not prepared then Ynaffit comes out, and she's not pretty. Tonight will start the 'spa' treatments. Sugar body scrub (home made if you please) hair mask, shaving and tweezing, foot treatment and I'm going to bed with a thick layer of cream on.
Okay seriously. I NEED to do these things. I'm nuts and totally off my rocker I know. But there is so much to worry about. You know you go to these parties and people grab your arms and talk closely in your face. You dance with the new guy, because that's the type of girl you are (okay, maybe it was the nudge from hubby that gets you dancing) You might get a runner in your pantyhose and have to take off your shoes, your going to have to shake hands with everyone, and then for the cherry on the Christmas pudding; the grease megamix will come on and your going to shake your tail feather.
With all these things in my brain I'm thinking OMG! a night wasn't nearly enough time to prepare. What happens if I don't tweeze enough and people think I have a mustache? What happens if I go with the spanx and I'm dancing with who knows and they wonder what I'm wearing under my dress? What happens if the big boss shakes my hands and feels that I have dish pan hands? What happens if I'm talking waaaay to close to someone and they start wondering about my unibrow? What happens if I get that runner in my pantyhose, take off my shoes and everyone starts to wonder 'what happened to her feet?!' All those people grabbing your arms! Those tiny bumps you get will HAVE to come off!!!!!
I don't think I'm over thinking this in the least. I'm don't think I'm even scratching the surface of my brain here!
Please will someone grab me a paper bag and coach me through breathing. Next I need you to come to London STAT and help me get ready....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
I guess this blog doesn't write it's self!
My poor little blog.
I just noticed that I haven't payed it any attention since the 15th of November! The 15th! that's like, 15 days ago!
I have also neglected to include a post on my darling grumpy 3 year old turning 4, and the queen mum visiting from Canada (eh?)
le sigh
That's life as a mum of three rowdy kids! Some months are light and airy, other months you wonder who tied the cinder blocks to your legs.
I'm riding a wave of depression this week. The week started rough, with the queen leaving. I yoga'd myself into a happy state and now I'm riding the calm. The happy place. The place of peace and inner OM...
I love this state and wish I could be here every week, every day, every hour. I know it won't last long. I've been doing yoga all week, despite my body crying for a Jillian Michaels session. It actually got me wondering if I could do yoga full time. Ya know, as a *GASP* job. This could be my inner Hippie talking again. It's the wave I'm in. The mood could ride out at anytime.
I've been in a Christmas state of mind, dying for the Christmas decorations to be pulled out...which I did on Monday when I kept the kids home (sick of course!) Saturday we'll get a tree, Sunday we'll decorate it. The next few weeks, I'll finish shopping. Excited is way to plain for how I feel!
With the waves I've been in recently, it got me thinking that maybe I need to return back to God. Okay, before you all go, oh Jesus. My idea of God is very different from most people. I'm not going to get into it. Let's just say, I believe in everything. Anyway, the word 'Quaker' got whispered to me this month and I've done my research and think I might of found a home. Now before you think I've totally flipped my marbles, I've just been thinking. I'm going to a meeting this week. That's all. I'm not one for Sunday gatherings, but I really think this is an answer for me.
These waves of depression have really really been sinking me lately and I don't know how much more on my own I can do. I'm looking for a life line and feel it coming. I'll let you all know how I get on.
I finally heard news this week that I've been waiting to hear. I have a year and a half left before we move back home. This is HUGE for me. I'm the type of cancer (the sign) that needs home. That needs a place of roots and stability. I need it bad. To know that in less then 2 years I'll have that, puts me in a state of giddy.
I'm not sure where home is going to be. But there will be a house. There will be a place of our own. There will be a permanent roof over our heads. The house will be filled with love. That's all that matters to me. If I had my little way, we'd be moving to Scotland and living off the sea and Clottie dumplings. But we go where hubby works and that is that. le sigh.
The kids are growing like weeds and as I said in the first few lines, Mario has turned 4. I can't believe it's been 4 years since my little grump entered the world. I use the term grump, with as much love as I can. For he truly is a grump. He is his Grandpa Mike to the core. We love him despite the scowl.
My dear family and friends back home. I miss you all very much and homesick is starting to get the best of me. I miss your faces and your voices. I miss your laughter and your joy that you bring us. I miss seeing your children grow and your families change. I miss being able to visit you when ever I want and you spending time at my house. I hope you are all well.
I'm going to try to do an advent blog posting spree. not sure what on. I'm sure I'll figure it out.
take care
xo
I just noticed that I haven't payed it any attention since the 15th of November! The 15th! that's like, 15 days ago!
I have also neglected to include a post on my darling grumpy 3 year old turning 4, and the queen mum visiting from Canada (eh?)
le sigh
That's life as a mum of three rowdy kids! Some months are light and airy, other months you wonder who tied the cinder blocks to your legs.
I'm riding a wave of depression this week. The week started rough, with the queen leaving. I yoga'd myself into a happy state and now I'm riding the calm. The happy place. The place of peace and inner OM...
I love this state and wish I could be here every week, every day, every hour. I know it won't last long. I've been doing yoga all week, despite my body crying for a Jillian Michaels session. It actually got me wondering if I could do yoga full time. Ya know, as a *GASP* job. This could be my inner Hippie talking again. It's the wave I'm in. The mood could ride out at anytime.
I've been in a Christmas state of mind, dying for the Christmas decorations to be pulled out...which I did on Monday when I kept the kids home (sick of course!) Saturday we'll get a tree, Sunday we'll decorate it. The next few weeks, I'll finish shopping. Excited is way to plain for how I feel!
With the waves I've been in recently, it got me thinking that maybe I need to return back to God. Okay, before you all go, oh Jesus. My idea of God is very different from most people. I'm not going to get into it. Let's just say, I believe in everything. Anyway, the word 'Quaker' got whispered to me this month and I've done my research and think I might of found a home. Now before you think I've totally flipped my marbles, I've just been thinking. I'm going to a meeting this week. That's all. I'm not one for Sunday gatherings, but I really think this is an answer for me.
These waves of depression have really really been sinking me lately and I don't know how much more on my own I can do. I'm looking for a life line and feel it coming. I'll let you all know how I get on.
I finally heard news this week that I've been waiting to hear. I have a year and a half left before we move back home. This is HUGE for me. I'm the type of cancer (the sign) that needs home. That needs a place of roots and stability. I need it bad. To know that in less then 2 years I'll have that, puts me in a state of giddy.
I'm not sure where home is going to be. But there will be a house. There will be a place of our own. There will be a permanent roof over our heads. The house will be filled with love. That's all that matters to me. If I had my little way, we'd be moving to Scotland and living off the sea and Clottie dumplings. But we go where hubby works and that is that. le sigh.
The kids are growing like weeds and as I said in the first few lines, Mario has turned 4. I can't believe it's been 4 years since my little grump entered the world. I use the term grump, with as much love as I can. For he truly is a grump. He is his Grandpa Mike to the core. We love him despite the scowl.
My dear family and friends back home. I miss you all very much and homesick is starting to get the best of me. I miss your faces and your voices. I miss your laughter and your joy that you bring us. I miss seeing your children grow and your families change. I miss being able to visit you when ever I want and you spending time at my house. I hope you are all well.
I'm going to try to do an advent blog posting spree. not sure what on. I'm sure I'll figure it out.
take care
xo
Tuesday, 15 November 2011
Save the Children
Everyday I see a commercial trying to get me to 'save the children'. Send in my money and please save the children. You know, I'm not a mean person. I love to help, it's in my blood. But these commercials just make me upset.
You know how we-the people, can save the children?! By adopting them. If the process of adoption was easier we could really save some children. I get that there are sick and twisted people out there that would love some needy children, to exploit and hurt. I get that. But through the muck of that, there are people out there that would give limbs to have a child.
You know; no matter how much money I gave, these children would still be in a state of 'need'. They really would. I know a lot of these children are not up for adoption, but as a mother I hope that another mother would see the opportunity to help her child and let them be adopted. I know I would.
There has to be a way to weed out the nasty people and let the good ones through. There just has to be a way. We are so blessed to live in a 'wealthy' part of the world, which allows us to provide for others. So why isn't this an option? Why???
These commercials are breaking my heart, especially when the child is close in age to my own. I have so much to give and I know you do to! I wish these countries would start giving qualified parents a shot and let these children go to good homes, homes that would truly help their situation.
Maybe adoption isn't the best way, what do you think?
xo
You know how we-the people, can save the children?! By adopting them. If the process of adoption was easier we could really save some children. I get that there are sick and twisted people out there that would love some needy children, to exploit and hurt. I get that. But through the muck of that, there are people out there that would give limbs to have a child.
You know; no matter how much money I gave, these children would still be in a state of 'need'. They really would. I know a lot of these children are not up for adoption, but as a mother I hope that another mother would see the opportunity to help her child and let them be adopted. I know I would.
There has to be a way to weed out the nasty people and let the good ones through. There just has to be a way. We are so blessed to live in a 'wealthy' part of the world, which allows us to provide for others. So why isn't this an option? Why???
These commercials are breaking my heart, especially when the child is close in age to my own. I have so much to give and I know you do to! I wish these countries would start giving qualified parents a shot and let these children go to good homes, homes that would truly help their situation.
Maybe adoption isn't the best way, what do you think?
xo
Thursday, 10 November 2011
the butt of God's jokes
okay seriously, I'm sure I posted 3 posts since my last one...but see none of them. Guess I didn't hit 'publish' or maybe I dreamed them? Anyway..
I'm getting really really tired of being the butt of God's jokes. I really am. It has gone beyond the point of 'bad day'. The 'bad days' I have are so to the point where they have to be for some bodies comic relief.
This morning I prepared myself for a busy day. I was to be at the hospital at 9:50 for a hospital appointment for Mario. At 8:30ish I had double checked my purse for things I would need, the kids were ready and waiting, I just needed the keys. Where are those keys. I might misplace a lot of things, keys are not one of them. I NEVER misplace my keys. I'm a fanatic about time, and misplaced keys means having to be late. I under no circumstance will ever ever be late for anything. Seriously I have issues.
After 10 minutes of searching there are no keys. Hubby says he doesn't have them. Now I'm mad because a) I'm going to have to cancel the appointment and b) am going to be late to drop the princess off at school unless we run.
Run to school with kids (strangely the car doors are open and I'm able to get the stroller). Drop off the princess race home to cancel the appointment. The nurse at the hospital in her own special way told me I was being silly not coming and I should find a way to get there. She tells me another nurse will call me back to reschedule. Next nurse calls me to basically tell me to get in now, because I won't be able to get in until December. Really?! seriously, really?! After making me feel like shit she tells me she'll call me back....great, I look forward to it. Call back and they can see me next week. Great, hopefully I will have keys then. I'm taking this as a sign as the car hasn't been feeling well and the engine is sick and I was really nervous about going anyway (it's a 20 minute drive in good traffic-in our area there is no good traffic!) so what ever.
After I calm down I check the boys, 1 is sitting nicely watching TV the other is sitting on the table tossing raisins around like confetti at a wedding. Clean mess. Decide I need a tea. make tea, sit down, washer starts beeping. fix washer, sit down, dryer starts beeping. Fix dryer, sit down, dog starts barking. Shut dog up, sit down. oh look it's just about time to shut off the tv. gulp tea, turn off tv. Go and play with the boys.
Luigi decided that I needed a lesson in crash em up and I get smacked in the head with a train..twice. Time to get changed I think. Oh look the clean shirt (white) I put on this am has grease on it. great. After playing a bit more I head down to make lunch. What's that noise? oh someone played with the dishwasher buttons and it's running now. There is no cancel button, so it's washing it's self. As there aren't any dishes in it. Get a pot and smash my finger in the drawer, put on stove smack head on the head on the range.
Over this day, is way to plain for how I feel.
Now a normal person would be like 'hey, I'm having a shitty day' I on the other hand have these days once a week. I am now thinking it's beyond having a bad day. I'm tired of doing this every week and feeling at the total end of my rope. It leaves me tired and highly irritable. every week. seriously here.
I know a lot of you are religious and are thinking I need to go to church. I believe in God. Don't get me wrong. But the way I believe in faith is not how most people believe in faith. There is sadly no church for those who believe in all faiths. There is no spiritual house.
I am tired of not being able to let go. I'm tried of being on edge. I am tired of this practical joke. I keep hearing 'this too will pass' well you know what?! it's not f'n passing!
I'm now going to enjoy my bacon samich, put the monster baby to bed, put more TV on for Mario and indulge in a large serving of chocolate. maybe have a nap. As for this mess I call my house. I think it can wait until tomorrow.
Oy
I'm getting really really tired of being the butt of God's jokes. I really am. It has gone beyond the point of 'bad day'. The 'bad days' I have are so to the point where they have to be for some bodies comic relief.
This morning I prepared myself for a busy day. I was to be at the hospital at 9:50 for a hospital appointment for Mario. At 8:30ish I had double checked my purse for things I would need, the kids were ready and waiting, I just needed the keys. Where are those keys. I might misplace a lot of things, keys are not one of them. I NEVER misplace my keys. I'm a fanatic about time, and misplaced keys means having to be late. I under no circumstance will ever ever be late for anything. Seriously I have issues.
After 10 minutes of searching there are no keys. Hubby says he doesn't have them. Now I'm mad because a) I'm going to have to cancel the appointment and b) am going to be late to drop the princess off at school unless we run.
Run to school with kids (strangely the car doors are open and I'm able to get the stroller). Drop off the princess race home to cancel the appointment. The nurse at the hospital in her own special way told me I was being silly not coming and I should find a way to get there. She tells me another nurse will call me back to reschedule. Next nurse calls me to basically tell me to get in now, because I won't be able to get in until December. Really?! seriously, really?! After making me feel like shit she tells me she'll call me back....great, I look forward to it. Call back and they can see me next week. Great, hopefully I will have keys then. I'm taking this as a sign as the car hasn't been feeling well and the engine is sick and I was really nervous about going anyway (it's a 20 minute drive in good traffic-in our area there is no good traffic!) so what ever.
After I calm down I check the boys, 1 is sitting nicely watching TV the other is sitting on the table tossing raisins around like confetti at a wedding. Clean mess. Decide I need a tea. make tea, sit down, washer starts beeping. fix washer, sit down, dryer starts beeping. Fix dryer, sit down, dog starts barking. Shut dog up, sit down. oh look it's just about time to shut off the tv. gulp tea, turn off tv. Go and play with the boys.
Luigi decided that I needed a lesson in crash em up and I get smacked in the head with a train..twice. Time to get changed I think. Oh look the clean shirt (white) I put on this am has grease on it. great. After playing a bit more I head down to make lunch. What's that noise? oh someone played with the dishwasher buttons and it's running now. There is no cancel button, so it's washing it's self. As there aren't any dishes in it. Get a pot and smash my finger in the drawer, put on stove smack head on the head on the range.
Over this day, is way to plain for how I feel.
Now a normal person would be like 'hey, I'm having a shitty day' I on the other hand have these days once a week. I am now thinking it's beyond having a bad day. I'm tired of doing this every week and feeling at the total end of my rope. It leaves me tired and highly irritable. every week. seriously here.
I know a lot of you are religious and are thinking I need to go to church. I believe in God. Don't get me wrong. But the way I believe in faith is not how most people believe in faith. There is sadly no church for those who believe in all faiths. There is no spiritual house.
I am tired of not being able to let go. I'm tried of being on edge. I am tired of this practical joke. I keep hearing 'this too will pass' well you know what?! it's not f'n passing!
I'm now going to enjoy my bacon samich, put the monster baby to bed, put more TV on for Mario and indulge in a large serving of chocolate. maybe have a nap. As for this mess I call my house. I think it can wait until tomorrow.
Oy
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
The Eczema battle
When I was a kid I had slight eczema on my arms. It went away fairly quickly after a scrip for some topical cream. After the princess was born, the battle of eczema started again, this time on my hands. For 5.5 years now I have been battling eczema.
I have tried everything. No fooling. Apple cider vinegar, change of diet, more exercise, oils, homeopathic treatments, natural remedies, no cosmetics, lavender oil, olive oil and now the dreaded steroid cream.
After all that I'm still here battling this out. I must say the steroid cream has helped quiet a bit. I hate using it, but when you get at the end of your rope, you become desperate. I think my skin is now on a revolt as everything seems to be taking a turn for the worse. The eczema seems to be getting bad again, I now have a patch of eczema on my arm, my face is oily and breaking out, my lips seem to have developed a small rash around it, I have a severe dry eye case at the moment and my hair has taken a turn down oil ville and I'm unable to get it clean looking.
I am a very desperate woman indeed. There really isn't much of a point to this post today. It was really trying to get the word out that I'm in desperate need of answers. I'm hoping that if I put the word out that I'm suffering bad over here, that someone out there in this world will rescue me from my skin revolt.
Please note natural remedies ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY DO NOT WORK FOR ME.
Anyone else suffering these days?
ox
I have tried everything. No fooling. Apple cider vinegar, change of diet, more exercise, oils, homeopathic treatments, natural remedies, no cosmetics, lavender oil, olive oil and now the dreaded steroid cream.
After all that I'm still here battling this out. I must say the steroid cream has helped quiet a bit. I hate using it, but when you get at the end of your rope, you become desperate. I think my skin is now on a revolt as everything seems to be taking a turn for the worse. The eczema seems to be getting bad again, I now have a patch of eczema on my arm, my face is oily and breaking out, my lips seem to have developed a small rash around it, I have a severe dry eye case at the moment and my hair has taken a turn down oil ville and I'm unable to get it clean looking.
I am a very desperate woman indeed. There really isn't much of a point to this post today. It was really trying to get the word out that I'm in desperate need of answers. I'm hoping that if I put the word out that I'm suffering bad over here, that someone out there in this world will rescue me from my skin revolt.
Please note natural remedies ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY DO NOT WORK FOR ME.
Anyone else suffering these days?
ox
Monday, 31 October 2011
Happy Birthday little Angels
Three years ago I gave birth to two beautiful baby girls. They arrived sleeping and quiet in the mid afternoon. It was the end to a very hard and unsure 4 months.
In late June 2008 I went in for a dating ultrasound and found out I was pregnant with twins. I remember laughing all the way home. I will never forget the look on Hubby's face when he saw the 'twins' picture. Shortly afterwards I went to my OB for my first check up. It wasn't good news, I was pregnant with Mono Mono twins. Basically its two babies sharing 1 placenta and there is no wall separating the two. The cords are just hairs away from each other. It's a 1 in 10,000 odd. I was the one.
My very awesome doctor told me strait up 'it's not good. The out come to this pregnancy is normally always stillborn' I was referred to Mount Sinai hospital in Toronto to the care of the high risk pregnancy unit. It meant appointments every week, blood test and ultrasounds..every week. It meant packing up two little ones into a car every week and heading to Toronto for a very very long day. It meant that I would be put into the hospital at 26/27 weeks and the babies would be born around 30/32 weeks. It meant we were giving it a shot and hoping for the best.
At 16 weeks I lost the first baby. My doctor was on holiday and the on call Doctor told me that this would be like a normal pregnancy now. I would most likely go back to my Doctor in Oakville. Sadly just three short weeks later; still at Mount Sinai, I lost the second baby. I knew something was wrong, I hadn't felt movement in days even halloween candy didn't do anything. Suspicion confirmed, we had lost the second and our ordeal was over.
My regular doctor at Mount Sinai was back and gave me my list of options. I decided to induce labor and bring my girls into this world the next day. Such a weird thing waking up in the morning and knowing today your going to give birth. It's even stranger knowing that your not going to be bringing anyone home. Around 1pm on October 31st, 2008 I delivered two baby girls into this world. There was no crying, there was no laying of baby on my tummy, there was no team of doctors. There was just the silence.
You go through an ordeal like that, and for me I was done. I didn't want to deal with it any more. I wanted to heal the hurt and move on. Instead, there was a funeral home to deal with, there was decisions like 'do you want pictures?' 'do you want to see them?' too much for a very broken mummy to deal with.
In the end I decided no pictures, and I didn't want to hold them. That image would of haunted me forever. We called our little girls hope and faith, because that's all the pregnancy was.
I would never wish this experience even on my worst enemy. Having to go to a funeral home and plan out what to do with the bodies of your children is an out of body experience. You feel like your not there, that there is no way that you are doing this.
We planned on having our girls cremated, they would rest in St Peters Bay with Grandpa.
It's three years later and the memory is still so fresh. I can tell you the whole day from start to finish. I am so thankful for the love of our family and friends that made the following weeks, just a little easier. I try not to dwell on our girls or the thought of what could of been. For me the healing process has been to remember them at certain times of the year or with white roses (the flower that seemed to be the theme of their passing). I miss my little girls and seeing twins now is such a bittersweet thing for me.
Today they are three and I haven't let them go play with Grandpa yet. How do you do that? How do you take the only thing you have of that time and let it go? maybe one day. I would of made them cake and there would of been presents...lots of them. Tons of pictures and something more then just a pink cremation box to hold at the end of the day.
Today mummys hold your little ones and pray you never feel the pain of loosing them. I know too many mums, who understand this hurt. One day we'll hold our children and smell their hair. We'll touch their hands and kiss their fingers. We'll count their toes and wiggle their piggies. One day we'll be able to push them on swings and roll with them in the grass. One day.
Happy Birthday little angels. xo
In late June 2008 I went in for a dating ultrasound and found out I was pregnant with twins. I remember laughing all the way home. I will never forget the look on Hubby's face when he saw the 'twins' picture. Shortly afterwards I went to my OB for my first check up. It wasn't good news, I was pregnant with Mono Mono twins. Basically its two babies sharing 1 placenta and there is no wall separating the two. The cords are just hairs away from each other. It's a 1 in 10,000 odd. I was the one.
My very awesome doctor told me strait up 'it's not good. The out come to this pregnancy is normally always stillborn' I was referred to Mount Sinai hospital in Toronto to the care of the high risk pregnancy unit. It meant appointments every week, blood test and ultrasounds..every week. It meant packing up two little ones into a car every week and heading to Toronto for a very very long day. It meant that I would be put into the hospital at 26/27 weeks and the babies would be born around 30/32 weeks. It meant we were giving it a shot and hoping for the best.
At 16 weeks I lost the first baby. My doctor was on holiday and the on call Doctor told me that this would be like a normal pregnancy now. I would most likely go back to my Doctor in Oakville. Sadly just three short weeks later; still at Mount Sinai, I lost the second baby. I knew something was wrong, I hadn't felt movement in days even halloween candy didn't do anything. Suspicion confirmed, we had lost the second and our ordeal was over.
My regular doctor at Mount Sinai was back and gave me my list of options. I decided to induce labor and bring my girls into this world the next day. Such a weird thing waking up in the morning and knowing today your going to give birth. It's even stranger knowing that your not going to be bringing anyone home. Around 1pm on October 31st, 2008 I delivered two baby girls into this world. There was no crying, there was no laying of baby on my tummy, there was no team of doctors. There was just the silence.
You go through an ordeal like that, and for me I was done. I didn't want to deal with it any more. I wanted to heal the hurt and move on. Instead, there was a funeral home to deal with, there was decisions like 'do you want pictures?' 'do you want to see them?' too much for a very broken mummy to deal with.
In the end I decided no pictures, and I didn't want to hold them. That image would of haunted me forever. We called our little girls hope and faith, because that's all the pregnancy was.
I would never wish this experience even on my worst enemy. Having to go to a funeral home and plan out what to do with the bodies of your children is an out of body experience. You feel like your not there, that there is no way that you are doing this.
We planned on having our girls cremated, they would rest in St Peters Bay with Grandpa.
It's three years later and the memory is still so fresh. I can tell you the whole day from start to finish. I am so thankful for the love of our family and friends that made the following weeks, just a little easier. I try not to dwell on our girls or the thought of what could of been. For me the healing process has been to remember them at certain times of the year or with white roses (the flower that seemed to be the theme of their passing). I miss my little girls and seeing twins now is such a bittersweet thing for me.
Today they are three and I haven't let them go play with Grandpa yet. How do you do that? How do you take the only thing you have of that time and let it go? maybe one day. I would of made them cake and there would of been presents...lots of them. Tons of pictures and something more then just a pink cremation box to hold at the end of the day.
Today mummys hold your little ones and pray you never feel the pain of loosing them. I know too many mums, who understand this hurt. One day we'll hold our children and smell their hair. We'll touch their hands and kiss their fingers. We'll count their toes and wiggle their piggies. One day we'll be able to push them on swings and roll with them in the grass. One day.
Happy Birthday little angels. xo
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
Hey those are some nifty knickers!
You know I love me some larger ladies. I think beauty comes in all sizes and find in this day in age, the larger woman is very proud of her size and that makes me just swell with happiness!
With that said, I have been watching some very big bums lately and I just have to say 'I CAN SEE YOUR KNICKERS!!!!!!!'
okay seriously here, leggings seem to be the very in thing. Good for leggings! they are comfy and can be dressed up and dressed down. They fit everyone and can flatter anyone. Unfortunately some of the cheaper variety are on the very thin side. Thin leggings + larger bottom = stretched out fabric!
I have seen more knickers in the last year then I want to count. There has been leopard, and stripy. Zebra and dots. Lace and frills. Lets not even get into the colors! Yes people I can see EVERYTHING!
You don't want to stare, you really don't. But your walking home, large lady is walking in front of you. Leggings stretched out to maximum thinness. She's wearing a shirt that lets the whole world see her worldly goods. And you can't believe your eyes. Wow those are pretty. Wow, you need new undies! Really, I didn't take you for a leopard lady.
Don't these women look in the mirror before they leave the house?! I always check myself and my bum before I leave the house. I do. I have kids and you never know what is going to be stuck to it!
I wonder if there is a polite way of say 'hey big bum, I can see your lace and frills!'
So larger ladies; unless you like everyone seeing your underwear, please check your bum before you leave the house! I'm watching you!
This post was brought to you by the letter S for Sir mix-a-lot and B for big bums
Thursday, 13 October 2011
The time Crunch
As a mum of 3 I don't have much time. What I can do in a day has to fit between school pick ups, extra curricular activities and playing. I found in the early 1 child days, I started to make excuses for why I wasn't doing things. 'No point in cleaning the bathrooms I only have 20 minutes', 'I don't need to do the dusting, I can only write part of my name' I could honestly come up with an excuse for anything.
Now onto baby 3, I found I was piling myself up with excuses. It was getting to the point where I couldn't see any more. Then one day I read some flylady stuff. wow. Could I really do a shit load of cleaning in only an hour? She has some really good foundation stuff to get you off your ass. I don't follow her schedule, but I do take a lot of her tips and use them in my day to day.
I started months ago, but the excuses started piling up again. The biggest being, I deserve a break. My kids love TV. I am more then willing to put on an hour or so in the morning and maybe another hour in the afternoon for them. That gave me 2 hours a day. I was doing what with those 2 hours? good question. Laundry and a cuppa tea were the top agenda. In the last few months, I've started to kick excuses in the ass and really get myself moving.
Do you really know how much time we're given in a day? 24 hours. Think about that for a moment, 24 hours. Do you use your 24 hours wisely? Do you honestly know how much you can get done in 24 hours...screw 24, do you know how much you can get done in an hour?!
For starters I let my exercise routine slip. How was I to fit in that 20-30 minutes in a day? well I was sleeping until 6am every morning and rushing around with lunches and breakfast and school prep. Now I get up at 5am. I do 20-30 minutes of exercise, then with what ever time I have left over I start getting ready for the rush. I empty the dishwasher and make lunches. Kids are up at 6 and I'm normally eating breakfast by 6:30. On a normal day I can have the house tidy, the kids ready, me ready (including fully dressed, hair done and full face of make up!) and everybody ready to go by 8am. I don't need to leave until 8:30. I toss in a load of laundry and the kids and I sit down to read together. So I woke up an hour early and got 1) the kitchen tidy and ready for the day 2) a load of laundry started 3) exercise done 4) me fully ready for the day 5) the kids fully ready for the day and 6) got in some good mom and kid time plus I've eaten!
Now that two hours the kids watch tv...
Seriously I get so much done in that two hours, it's silly. Take today in my 1 hour am tv slot I got done
1) upstairs bathroom cleaned
2) switched up the laundry-twice
3) put laundry away
4) cleaned the laundry room-this included cleaning out food stuff from the fridge and left over food from our party on Sunday that was sitting on the laundry room counter-plus cleaning the sink and organizing the clothes
5) took out garbage
6) changed the sheets in the spare room and Mario's room
7) washed and put away dishes
8) made a tea
And that was just one hour out of the two!
I don't think that the average person knows how easy it is to fit in everything you need to do in a day. Seriously all the little things add up and before you know it your done. I still have plenty of me time and I still have plenty of time to be with my kids and my hubby.
So, what's your excuse? Time to stop making excuses and get your ass in gear! we are given 24 hours for a reason, start using them wisely!
xo
Now onto baby 3, I found I was piling myself up with excuses. It was getting to the point where I couldn't see any more. Then one day I read some flylady stuff. wow. Could I really do a shit load of cleaning in only an hour? She has some really good foundation stuff to get you off your ass. I don't follow her schedule, but I do take a lot of her tips and use them in my day to day.
I started months ago, but the excuses started piling up again. The biggest being, I deserve a break. My kids love TV. I am more then willing to put on an hour or so in the morning and maybe another hour in the afternoon for them. That gave me 2 hours a day. I was doing what with those 2 hours? good question. Laundry and a cuppa tea were the top agenda. In the last few months, I've started to kick excuses in the ass and really get myself moving.
Do you really know how much time we're given in a day? 24 hours. Think about that for a moment, 24 hours. Do you use your 24 hours wisely? Do you honestly know how much you can get done in 24 hours...screw 24, do you know how much you can get done in an hour?!
For starters I let my exercise routine slip. How was I to fit in that 20-30 minutes in a day? well I was sleeping until 6am every morning and rushing around with lunches and breakfast and school prep. Now I get up at 5am. I do 20-30 minutes of exercise, then with what ever time I have left over I start getting ready for the rush. I empty the dishwasher and make lunches. Kids are up at 6 and I'm normally eating breakfast by 6:30. On a normal day I can have the house tidy, the kids ready, me ready (including fully dressed, hair done and full face of make up!) and everybody ready to go by 8am. I don't need to leave until 8:30. I toss in a load of laundry and the kids and I sit down to read together. So I woke up an hour early and got 1) the kitchen tidy and ready for the day 2) a load of laundry started 3) exercise done 4) me fully ready for the day 5) the kids fully ready for the day and 6) got in some good mom and kid time plus I've eaten!
Now that two hours the kids watch tv...
Seriously I get so much done in that two hours, it's silly. Take today in my 1 hour am tv slot I got done
1) upstairs bathroom cleaned
2) switched up the laundry-twice
3) put laundry away
4) cleaned the laundry room-this included cleaning out food stuff from the fridge and left over food from our party on Sunday that was sitting on the laundry room counter-plus cleaning the sink and organizing the clothes
5) took out garbage
6) changed the sheets in the spare room and Mario's room
7) washed and put away dishes
8) made a tea
And that was just one hour out of the two!
I don't think that the average person knows how easy it is to fit in everything you need to do in a day. Seriously all the little things add up and before you know it your done. I still have plenty of me time and I still have plenty of time to be with my kids and my hubby.
So, what's your excuse? Time to stop making excuses and get your ass in gear! we are given 24 hours for a reason, start using them wisely!
xo
Tuesday, 11 October 2011
Smoking babies
I try not to rant about other moms. I don't know everything and maybe what other moms are doing (and I think completely bonkers) is actually a good thing.
Today; upon leaving the school yard I noticed something that just stirred me the wrong way. It looked like a normal scene, bunch of mums standing around after dropping the kids off at school. Fags in hand, creating a haze around anyone that passes. Today though I noticed one of the 'mums' was a young girl (20), who just found out she is 6 weeks pregnant. She was just finishing up her fag as I was passing by and by the time I got to my car and started driving away, she was on to another.
I'm not an expert in pre-natal care. I've had three babies, and the mystery of pregnancy still boggles my brain. I know some mums have the occasional drink, occasional. I can't understand mums, who know they are pregnant and sit there inhaling a tube of paper with about 600 chemicals loaded into it. Those who want to know the (almost) full list can read it here. Denying your baby of oxygen and pumping them full of chemicals, to me..is completely unacceptable. Especially during the first few weeks of life!
That baby in your baby has no voice. They don't have a choice. They didn't decide to be in your belly. They never asked to be born. They are in there, with you running the show. What you eat, drink, smoke, inhale, breath..effects that child.
Tell me dear reader, are they ever EVER going to insist on testing people before they are able to have children?!?!?!?!?
is 9 months really too much to ask for you to put down a fag?!?!
Maybe I should sneak some literature into her nieces book bag about the dangers of smoking during pregnancy?
Today; upon leaving the school yard I noticed something that just stirred me the wrong way. It looked like a normal scene, bunch of mums standing around after dropping the kids off at school. Fags in hand, creating a haze around anyone that passes. Today though I noticed one of the 'mums' was a young girl (20), who just found out she is 6 weeks pregnant. She was just finishing up her fag as I was passing by and by the time I got to my car and started driving away, she was on to another.
I'm not an expert in pre-natal care. I've had three babies, and the mystery of pregnancy still boggles my brain. I know some mums have the occasional drink, occasional. I can't understand mums, who know they are pregnant and sit there inhaling a tube of paper with about 600 chemicals loaded into it. Those who want to know the (almost) full list can read it here. Denying your baby of oxygen and pumping them full of chemicals, to me..is completely unacceptable. Especially during the first few weeks of life!
That baby in your baby has no voice. They don't have a choice. They didn't decide to be in your belly. They never asked to be born. They are in there, with you running the show. What you eat, drink, smoke, inhale, breath..effects that child.
Tell me dear reader, are they ever EVER going to insist on testing people before they are able to have children?!?!?!?!?
is 9 months really too much to ask for you to put down a fag?!?!
Maybe I should sneak some literature into her nieces book bag about the dangers of smoking during pregnancy?
Monday, 3 October 2011
the start of his future.
Tomorrow my little man starts on a whole new adventure. The little meat head starts pre-school. But he's two right?! I know. I agree that it seems a little early, but the ham is so very ready. Every morning when we drop off Mario, Luigi runs into school and makes himself at home. His eyes get big with excitement and hope that he will get to play too.
Tomorrow, he will get to play.
I can't believe it. This starts his journey of school. I can only imagine the trouble is going to get into, the friends he will make, the hearts he will break. Didn't I just carry this bowling ball in my tummy?! School, wow.
My kids have always enjoyed school. I very rarely have to fight with them to do school work or get ready for their day. I hope Luigi is the same. I really hope this isn't like Christmas; where you just can't wait for it to come, then when it does it's like 'oh, is that it?!'
He is my last and the apple of my eye. I can't believe I'm setting him free tomorrow. My little ham got extra cuddles and kisses tonight. Tomorrow, I'm heading out to coffee with my friend to take my mind off leaving my baby at school. Le sigh.
What a drama queen I am.
It's going to be fine. right?
Tomorrow, he will get to play.
I can't believe it. This starts his journey of school. I can only imagine the trouble is going to get into, the friends he will make, the hearts he will break. Didn't I just carry this bowling ball in my tummy?! School, wow.
My kids have always enjoyed school. I very rarely have to fight with them to do school work or get ready for their day. I hope Luigi is the same. I really hope this isn't like Christmas; where you just can't wait for it to come, then when it does it's like 'oh, is that it?!'
He is my last and the apple of my eye. I can't believe I'm setting him free tomorrow. My little ham got extra cuddles and kisses tonight. Tomorrow, I'm heading out to coffee with my friend to take my mind off leaving my baby at school. Le sigh.
What a drama queen I am.
It's going to be fine. right?
Tuesday, 20 September 2011
Making a Marriage Work
I come from a home of multiple broken marriages. My husband comes from a home of broken marriages. Our families are made up of broken marriages. The fact that after 8 years we are still married, is HUGE. I don't think we have a perfect marriage, not by a long shot.
We do get admired a lot. I guess in this day in age, where a marriage can be as short as a one night stand (in fact, some marriages ARE one night stands!) 8 years are impressive years. I know some of you just getting married, or thinking about getting married still have your rose glasses on. I'm here to bitch slap them off your face. Marriage is tough work people. Tough work. There are ups and downs, there are spinning moments, there are times of pure frustration, there are days when you wake up and pray that they aren't there. There are also high times; times you lye awake in the dark talking about the future, there are days when you melt in your partners arms, sometimes you count the minutes until they get home. Marriage is like some kick ass roller coaster, really!
My husband and I started this journey in Grade 10! I knew even then that I would marry him. But grade 10 is too early for anything serious, so you know how that went! When we got our selves together 3 years later, we never looked back. I think the number one thing that has held us together all this time is FRIENDSHIP! My man servant is my best friend in the whole world. We make decisions mostly based on what we as friends would do. We also see this as a complete 100% partnership. We support each other, no matter how crazy the idea is. We're not afraid to cry, laugh and break down with each other. This is really important shit people. If you can't say and feel exactly what you need to, then your in the wrong relationship! You need to be able to be honest, all the time with your spouse. Communicate. Always Communicate.
I'm going to be honest here. There is going to come a time, when you might not love your partner as you did in the beginning. This IS normal. Your past the huneymoon and working on the real shit. I'm not saying your going to stop loving your partner, I'm saying your love is going to change into something more mature. This is good. Really good. It means that your living, growing and changing with your partner. It means that your marriage is succeeding!
To me once you make a commitment to your partner, you make it for life. This is it. There is no turning back. Now if said partner fucked up royally and I had just cause, then yes kick him to the curb! But every day your going to have to work at this. Your going to have to give it your all. Your going to have to dig deep. EVERYDAY. There are no holidays in marriages. It's not going to be hard (well somedays will be) these are easy everyday things. Telling your spouse that you love them. Making them breakfast. Getting them a cup of coffee. Making the bed (if that floats there boat!) anything that might make your loved one, feel a little more loved. These little things, are also a great way to say sorry. If all your partner asks for is a kiss each morning, then do that! In time, you will know what your partner needs.
There is a really really great book out there called The 5 languages of love by Gary Chapman. It's a bit hokey in some areas. But the message is awesome. I've learned a lot from the book and it's filled with 'a ha!' moments. Pick it up, give it a look through. It will be worth the time.
okay dear reader, I think you get the message. Marriage can be wonderful and amazing. It can also be draining and tiring. It's most definitely hard work. It will be worth it. When you get to a point, where you run like a well oil machine. You will know how rewarding your hard work has been. Don't be frightened. It's all good!
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