Be The Best Parent YOU Can Be!

When I found out that I was pregnant with the Princess I became an obsessed parent to be. Not obsessed in terms of what I should eat and how I should treat my body at the time. I became obsessed with the type of parent I SHOULD be. I started buying things for this should be parent. I read books on this should be parent. I came up with a plan for this should be parent. When the princess was born and I brought her home from the hospital, reality hit me and my should be parent ideas.

Want to see some of my should be parent ideas? Ready?

I would come home from the hospital and carry my baby in a carrier when ever she needed. I would cloth diaper and my baby would always be clean. When and if my baby cried I would know what to do and be able to sooth her easily. When I had to clean the house-because the laundry would always be done and the baking would always be available and homemade food would always be cooking! my baby would happily play on the floor. As a top Mother I would know what my baby wanted and easily be able to cater to her needs. My baby and I would go for walks often and I would show her the world. I would be on the top of my game and the world would know it!

Do you want to know reality?

My baby came home from the hospital and cried and pooped and hollered...a lot! She hated cloth diapers and would scream her self blue when I put one on. She was a messy messy baby and I had to change her clothes often. The house never got fully cleaned and I didn't have the brain power to cook a decent meal. Hubby worked from home and I had to keep the baby quiet, the baby who hated toys. I never knew what my baby wanted and she would often scream when all her needs were met. I hated walking-although she loved to shop! I had postpartum depression and I hated my baby. I begged for 6 months for my hubby to return her. This is not what I signed up for. No one told me how this would really go. No one

I really wish at that time I would of been able to let go of my ideal should be parent and except the idea of being the best parent I could be. I think this is a reality for most parents today. We get ideas and expectations in our head of how things should go. Of how we want things to go. When they don't we have a hard time excepting the real picture. Although I am three children in, I still have this problem. Less severe but it still creeps up.

There is no right or wrong answers and there is no manual. We weren't provided with a book on our child. Now; don't get me wrong, there are tons of parenting books out there...tons! Have you found the one on your child yet? Me either.

I want you dear reader, to start adopting the mantra 'I am the best parent I can be'. Have you said it? When the day isn't going to plan, I want you to stop for a minute, breath...put yourself in time out if you have to (I love time out by the way!) and repeat 'I am the best parent I can be'

Somedays my laundry doesn't get touched, the house is a total tip, the kids are wearing clothes from two days ago, the dog is filthy from God knows what, I have a million things on my to do list, and nothing is going to plan. These are the days when I really have to say 'I'm doing the best I can' 'I am the best parent I can be'. What ever you are doing, it's okay. How ever you are doing it, is perfect! If you children smile and laugh, if they run and scream, if they are naughty and nice, if they are sugar and spice, if they are silly and mischievous, if they plot and plan, if they are stinky and smelly, if they are well groomed and proper, and if they are alive and your alive...then you are the best parent you can be.

The rest doesn't matter. Honest. It doesn't matter.

I want you to give yourself permission to take in what comes, how it comes. The plan might not always work out how you want but we'll get through this journey what ever the path. It might take us 26 steps to get from A to Z and it might only take us 12. It doesn't matter. Your doing the best you can right now!

Even if your sitting here at the computer while your child is screaming in the next room (or maybe right at your feet!) that's okay (unless your playing angry birds while your child is bleeding to death in front of you! That's not cool and you need to call for help ASAP!) Maybe you've tossed the chores out for the day, in order to play...that's cool too! What ever it is, how ever you are doing it. Your doing it the best way for you.

It may not work for June Cleaver, and it may not work for Peggy Bundy..but if it works for you then your ahead of the game.

Acceptance is the key to parenting. Just breath and accept. Your just going to make everyone and you miserable if you try otherwise.

Please give yourself permission to toss out the should be parent and embrace the you parent. Because it's perfect. Honest

xo

R.I.P Whitney

Last night on our way back home from London, hubby and I were having a conversation about the passing of Whitney Houston. I hate rehashing this over and over again. I really do. However I feel the need to blog about this, because I think some people out there don't get it. My hubby didn't get it. His brain processed it like this 'the woman was on drugs, drugs kill. Sooner or later it was going to happen'

But that's not what this is all about. This is not why people are saddened and mourning. Not in the least. The people are mourning the loss of a great figure because of emotion. *Please note-drugs kill. If you are on drugs, chances are someday they are going to catch up with you*

Songs can bring up so many memories and emotions. You know where you were, a smell, the food you might have been eating, maybe it was warm/cold, the people you were with...a song can bring that all up. My mum always says 'the song remembers when'. Isn't that the truth?

So you see hubby, we're not mourning the loss of a woman-although it is a big loss. We are mourning the loss of something that was, or something that could of been. We'll never hear another Whitney Houston song on the radio. We'll never see her in concert. We'll never hear about the battles she is fighting. Sometimes even though we never meet, see or talk to a person. There is a comfort in their  presence. You know that they are going to be there. You know that you'll hear their voice on the radio at some point and maybe you'll see them in concert. There is a comfort in that. In the knowing that they will always be there for you.

What about this emotion? Listen to Whitney sing I will always love you. Close your eyes, really soak in the voice, the lyrics and wait for it. Wait for the memories to come back. Were you kissing someone you love? Were you watching someone walk away? Did you break up with someone? Was it your first boy/girl dance?

When we loose someone famous, we remember. We remember the emotions and the feeling associated with their music or their films.

We also see them as invincible. They have money, lots of money. They can afford all the best of everything. Can't they? When we loose them, they become human. We think about our own demons and the battles we fight on a daily basis. That could be us. Couldn't it? One day we might wake up and be unable to fight anymore. The rock bottom may arrive. To know that someone we perceive as strong, gives up...it's frightening.

So hubby when your brain is unable to comprehend how we are surprised. Remember the song remembers when. We remember when. We are human and are unable to hold back the feeling and emotions that are attached to songs and people. Whitney will always be a strong figure in our music history. To know that her journey is over and we'll no longer be taking it with her is sad. Just like Michael Jackson, just like Freddie Mercury, like Amy Winehouse, like Heath Ledger, like James Dean...it's the emotion, the feeling, the power, the time. It really strikes us right to the core. So may we continue to mourn for our emotions and remember when.