As most of you know I blew up my computer a few months back and have not been able to post. I do have blogger app on my phone, but with a 500 word limit-and let's face it, a girl who can talk. I haven't been around.
I know you miss me, I know y'all do! This isn't the inflation of my big head, these are from fan requests!
So any way, here crazy mum is. Here I am. Big words aren't they? Do you ever sit and wonder about your life and wonder the what ifs?? Have you ever squashed them with, I'm right here..right now. Think about that for a moment. It doesn't matter which road you took to get here. It doesn't matter about the screaming kids or the football on t.v. It doesn't matter what song you sung to dance. Your here now.
I have to be honest with you all I'm struggling a bit at the moment. I have so nicely returned from a life break. You know the kind where you led another life for a week; the life you used to have before crazy set in. Or maybe the life you used to have before being an adult punched you in the face.
My life break was a week with my mummy, who so nicely told me she would probably need therapy after a week with me! A week of wearing clean clothes and makeup, a week of dinner and lunches, a week of hot coffee and hot dinners. A week of me without the definition of mother, mummy, madre, oh hail big chief. Isn't it funny how we start living lives based on definition? When did we start doing that?
I can't go out after work because I'm a manager at a top 100 company, I need to go to bed by 8. I can't answer the phone because I work in a call centre and take 200 calls a day. I can't work in the garden because I'm a hand model and my nails will get dirty. I can't eat solids because I'm a Victoria secrets angel. Maybe theses aren't definitions but job hazards? I can't wear nice clothes because my kids use me for a face cleaner. I can't wear heels because who can chase three children running in all directions in stilettos? I can't eat dinner hot, because we'll...have you met my kids?
I'm struggling right now with the definition. Not that I felt I had a better one before, but this is different. How do you move past it. What happens if you accept the definition and then 20 years past, and you can't move on to another definition? I'm calling this making peanut butter out of peanuts. I'm talking about taking the definition in which we live and making it our lives. Owning it. Redefining it. Take power and control over that gosh darn word in which we run our lives and kicking it to the next level.
Are you feeling lost in translation? Stuck in definition? How will you make peanut butter out of your peanuts??
Thursday 25 October 2012
Tuesday 2 October 2012
I can do this on a mobile???
Honestly I am not down with the tec world. I had no idea I could post via my mobile! DUH! anyway having no computer has left my blog dry. Now i can do this any where, the crazyness is back! Stay tuned my loves! xxx
Monday 27 February 2012
Be The Best Parent YOU Can Be!
When I found out that I was pregnant with the Princess I became an obsessed parent to be. Not obsessed in terms of what I should eat and how I should treat my body at the time. I became obsessed with the type of parent I SHOULD be. I started buying things for this should be parent. I read books on this should be parent. I came up with a plan for this should be parent. When the princess was born and I brought her home from the hospital, reality hit me and my should be parent ideas.
Want to see some of my should be parent ideas? Ready?
I would come home from the hospital and carry my baby in a carrier when ever she needed. I would cloth diaper and my baby would always be clean. When and if my baby cried I would know what to do and be able to sooth her easily. When I had to clean the house-because the laundry would always be done and the baking would always be available and homemade food would always be cooking! my baby would happily play on the floor. As a top Mother I would know what my baby wanted and easily be able to cater to her needs. My baby and I would go for walks often and I would show her the world. I would be on the top of my game and the world would know it!
Do you want to know reality?
My baby came home from the hospital and cried and pooped and hollered...a lot! She hated cloth diapers and would scream her self blue when I put one on. She was a messy messy baby and I had to change her clothes often. The house never got fully cleaned and I didn't have the brain power to cook a decent meal. Hubby worked from home and I had to keep the baby quiet, the baby who hated toys. I never knew what my baby wanted and she would often scream when all her needs were met. I hated walking-although she loved to shop! I had postpartum depression and I hated my baby. I begged for 6 months for my hubby to return her. This is not what I signed up for. No one told me how this would really go. No one
I really wish at that time I would of been able to let go of my ideal should be parent and except the idea of being the best parent I could be. I think this is a reality for most parents today. We get ideas and expectations in our head of how things should go. Of how we want things to go. When they don't we have a hard time excepting the real picture. Although I am three children in, I still have this problem. Less severe but it still creeps up.
There is no right or wrong answers and there is no manual. We weren't provided with a book on our child. Now; don't get me wrong, there are tons of parenting books out there...tons! Have you found the one on your child yet? Me either.
I want you dear reader, to start adopting the mantra 'I am the best parent I can be'. Have you said it? When the day isn't going to plan, I want you to stop for a minute, breath...put yourself in time out if you have to (I love time out by the way!) and repeat 'I am the best parent I can be'
Somedays my laundry doesn't get touched, the house is a total tip, the kids are wearing clothes from two days ago, the dog is filthy from God knows what, I have a million things on my to do list, and nothing is going to plan. These are the days when I really have to say 'I'm doing the best I can' 'I am the best parent I can be'. What ever you are doing, it's okay. How ever you are doing it, is perfect! If you children smile and laugh, if they run and scream, if they are naughty and nice, if they are sugar and spice, if they are silly and mischievous, if they plot and plan, if they are stinky and smelly, if they are well groomed and proper, and if they are alive and your alive...then you are the best parent you can be.
The rest doesn't matter. Honest. It doesn't matter.
I want you to give yourself permission to take in what comes, how it comes. The plan might not always work out how you want but we'll get through this journey what ever the path. It might take us 26 steps to get from A to Z and it might only take us 12. It doesn't matter. Your doing the best you can right now!
Even if your sitting here at the computer while your child is screaming in the next room (or maybe right at your feet!) that's okay (unless your playing angry birds while your child is bleeding to death in front of you! That's not cool and you need to call for help ASAP!) Maybe you've tossed the chores out for the day, in order to play...that's cool too! What ever it is, how ever you are doing it. Your doing it the best way for you.
It may not work for June Cleaver, and it may not work for Peggy Bundy..but if it works for you then your ahead of the game.
Acceptance is the key to parenting. Just breath and accept. Your just going to make everyone and you miserable if you try otherwise.
Please give yourself permission to toss out the should be parent and embrace the you parent. Because it's perfect. Honest
xo
Want to see some of my should be parent ideas? Ready?
I would come home from the hospital and carry my baby in a carrier when ever she needed. I would cloth diaper and my baby would always be clean. When and if my baby cried I would know what to do and be able to sooth her easily. When I had to clean the house-because the laundry would always be done and the baking would always be available and homemade food would always be cooking! my baby would happily play on the floor. As a top Mother I would know what my baby wanted and easily be able to cater to her needs. My baby and I would go for walks often and I would show her the world. I would be on the top of my game and the world would know it!
Do you want to know reality?
My baby came home from the hospital and cried and pooped and hollered...a lot! She hated cloth diapers and would scream her self blue when I put one on. She was a messy messy baby and I had to change her clothes often. The house never got fully cleaned and I didn't have the brain power to cook a decent meal. Hubby worked from home and I had to keep the baby quiet, the baby who hated toys. I never knew what my baby wanted and she would often scream when all her needs were met. I hated walking-although she loved to shop! I had postpartum depression and I hated my baby. I begged for 6 months for my hubby to return her. This is not what I signed up for. No one told me how this would really go. No one
I really wish at that time I would of been able to let go of my ideal should be parent and except the idea of being the best parent I could be. I think this is a reality for most parents today. We get ideas and expectations in our head of how things should go. Of how we want things to go. When they don't we have a hard time excepting the real picture. Although I am three children in, I still have this problem. Less severe but it still creeps up.
There is no right or wrong answers and there is no manual. We weren't provided with a book on our child. Now; don't get me wrong, there are tons of parenting books out there...tons! Have you found the one on your child yet? Me either.
I want you dear reader, to start adopting the mantra 'I am the best parent I can be'. Have you said it? When the day isn't going to plan, I want you to stop for a minute, breath...put yourself in time out if you have to (I love time out by the way!) and repeat 'I am the best parent I can be'
Somedays my laundry doesn't get touched, the house is a total tip, the kids are wearing clothes from two days ago, the dog is filthy from God knows what, I have a million things on my to do list, and nothing is going to plan. These are the days when I really have to say 'I'm doing the best I can' 'I am the best parent I can be'. What ever you are doing, it's okay. How ever you are doing it, is perfect! If you children smile and laugh, if they run and scream, if they are naughty and nice, if they are sugar and spice, if they are silly and mischievous, if they plot and plan, if they are stinky and smelly, if they are well groomed and proper, and if they are alive and your alive...then you are the best parent you can be.
The rest doesn't matter. Honest. It doesn't matter.
I want you to give yourself permission to take in what comes, how it comes. The plan might not always work out how you want but we'll get through this journey what ever the path. It might take us 26 steps to get from A to Z and it might only take us 12. It doesn't matter. Your doing the best you can right now!
Even if your sitting here at the computer while your child is screaming in the next room (or maybe right at your feet!) that's okay (unless your playing angry birds while your child is bleeding to death in front of you! That's not cool and you need to call for help ASAP!) Maybe you've tossed the chores out for the day, in order to play...that's cool too! What ever it is, how ever you are doing it. Your doing it the best way for you.
It may not work for June Cleaver, and it may not work for Peggy Bundy..but if it works for you then your ahead of the game.
Acceptance is the key to parenting. Just breath and accept. Your just going to make everyone and you miserable if you try otherwise.
Please give yourself permission to toss out the should be parent and embrace the you parent. Because it's perfect. Honest
xo
Monday 13 February 2012
R.I.P Whitney
Last night on our way back home from London, hubby and I were having a conversation about the passing of Whitney Houston. I hate rehashing this over and over again. I really do. However I feel the need to blog about this, because I think some people out there don't get it. My hubby didn't get it. His brain processed it like this 'the woman was on drugs, drugs kill. Sooner or later it was going to happen'
But that's not what this is all about. This is not why people are saddened and mourning. Not in the least. The people are mourning the loss of a great figure because of emotion. *Please note-drugs kill. If you are on drugs, chances are someday they are going to catch up with you*
Songs can bring up so many memories and emotions. You know where you were, a smell, the food you might have been eating, maybe it was warm/cold, the people you were with...a song can bring that all up. My mum always says 'the song remembers when'. Isn't that the truth?
So you see hubby, we're not mourning the loss of a woman-although it is a big loss. We are mourning the loss of something that was, or something that could of been. We'll never hear another Whitney Houston song on the radio. We'll never see her in concert. We'll never hear about the battles she is fighting. Sometimes even though we never meet, see or talk to a person. There is a comfort in their presence. You know that they are going to be there. You know that you'll hear their voice on the radio at some point and maybe you'll see them in concert. There is a comfort in that. In the knowing that they will always be there for you.
What about this emotion? Listen to Whitney sing I will always love you. Close your eyes, really soak in the voice, the lyrics and wait for it. Wait for the memories to come back. Were you kissing someone you love? Were you watching someone walk away? Did you break up with someone? Was it your first boy/girl dance?
When we loose someone famous, we remember. We remember the emotions and the feeling associated with their music or their films.
We also see them as invincible. They have money, lots of money. They can afford all the best of everything. Can't they? When we loose them, they become human. We think about our own demons and the battles we fight on a daily basis. That could be us. Couldn't it? One day we might wake up and be unable to fight anymore. The rock bottom may arrive. To know that someone we perceive as strong, gives up...it's frightening.
So hubby when your brain is unable to comprehend how we are surprised. Remember the song remembers when. We remember when. We are human and are unable to hold back the feeling and emotions that are attached to songs and people. Whitney will always be a strong figure in our music history. To know that her journey is over and we'll no longer be taking it with her is sad. Just like Michael Jackson, just like Freddie Mercury, like Amy Winehouse, like Heath Ledger, like James Dean...it's the emotion, the feeling, the power, the time. It really strikes us right to the core. So may we continue to mourn for our emotions and remember when.
But that's not what this is all about. This is not why people are saddened and mourning. Not in the least. The people are mourning the loss of a great figure because of emotion. *Please note-drugs kill. If you are on drugs, chances are someday they are going to catch up with you*
Songs can bring up so many memories and emotions. You know where you were, a smell, the food you might have been eating, maybe it was warm/cold, the people you were with...a song can bring that all up. My mum always says 'the song remembers when'. Isn't that the truth?
So you see hubby, we're not mourning the loss of a woman-although it is a big loss. We are mourning the loss of something that was, or something that could of been. We'll never hear another Whitney Houston song on the radio. We'll never see her in concert. We'll never hear about the battles she is fighting. Sometimes even though we never meet, see or talk to a person. There is a comfort in their presence. You know that they are going to be there. You know that you'll hear their voice on the radio at some point and maybe you'll see them in concert. There is a comfort in that. In the knowing that they will always be there for you.
What about this emotion? Listen to Whitney sing I will always love you. Close your eyes, really soak in the voice, the lyrics and wait for it. Wait for the memories to come back. Were you kissing someone you love? Were you watching someone walk away? Did you break up with someone? Was it your first boy/girl dance?
When we loose someone famous, we remember. We remember the emotions and the feeling associated with their music or their films.
We also see them as invincible. They have money, lots of money. They can afford all the best of everything. Can't they? When we loose them, they become human. We think about our own demons and the battles we fight on a daily basis. That could be us. Couldn't it? One day we might wake up and be unable to fight anymore. The rock bottom may arrive. To know that someone we perceive as strong, gives up...it's frightening.
So hubby when your brain is unable to comprehend how we are surprised. Remember the song remembers when. We remember when. We are human and are unable to hold back the feeling and emotions that are attached to songs and people. Whitney will always be a strong figure in our music history. To know that her journey is over and we'll no longer be taking it with her is sad. Just like Michael Jackson, just like Freddie Mercury, like Amy Winehouse, like Heath Ledger, like James Dean...it's the emotion, the feeling, the power, the time. It really strikes us right to the core. So may we continue to mourn for our emotions and remember when.
Monday 23 January 2012
smelly cat, smelly cat
In my head my phlegm was a bit more raspy...I guess that's what you get for singing with the voice :P
Friday 20 January 2012
Sing my angel...
sing for me....
okay, maybe not angel.
Maybe more like mum who needs a hobby
<3 you huney!
see you tomorrow!
okay, maybe not angel.
Maybe more like mum who needs a hobby
<3 you huney!
see you tomorrow!
Thursday 19 January 2012
The home hunt
I have been living in England for a year and half now...July is approaching fast and it will mark the two year anniversary.
When we moved to England we had the wonderful support of The Relocation Consultancy. Seriously I couldn't of asked for better help with our move. They did everything and I'm forever grateful. We picked a house based on location (in a village, close to school and great commute times). It's a lovely house for Canadians who have waaaay to much big furniture! Yes we took our furniture! Why? well it was cheeper to bring it then to store it. Hubby and I have been living together for a long time and we've collected a lot of furniture that we love and adore and couldn't replace. So it came and here we all are. Now a year and a half in, we're on the house hunt again! Good lord, will these Davey's never stop!?
We've come to the realization that this house; although lovely, is too expensive. In order for us to buy a house in the very near future (right huney?) we need to save and save big. This house will not allow for that. We're only supposed to be in the UK for another year and half, but as we know... that looks more like a dream then reality. I'm thinking probably closer to another 3 years.
So the hunt has led us to the small, the smaller, the dirty, and the wows. Reality is we need a house for five people and company. We don't have company often, but we do get some and the house needs to support that. We also have LARGE furniture (as I said before). We did fall in love with a lovely 1920's home. Fell head over heels. It was the type of home that you would never leave. We would of done anything to stay there and make it ours. That was the problem. We found out it recently sold for 1.7 million pounds! who the f can afford that?!
So hereI we are, on the hunt. Something else has stolen my heart. A very dirty and unloved Oast house. For those of you who are wondering what an Oast house is let me show you
**PLEASE NOTE, THIS ISN'T THE HOUSE...JUST WHAT AN OAST HOUSE LOOKS LIKE!**
They are lovely when cared for and converted properly. The house I have found is anything but cared for and loved. Hubby couldn't get out of the house fast enough, I on the other hand...well it was like Jerry Maguire, you had me at restored beams.
It's close to schools if we want to change, its rural (with footpaths and green all around), it's located steps to the rail and it's priced well below budget. Honestly it doesn't get better then that. So will we fit? Not sure. The bathrooms are small, the house is smaller...but the house. It needs me. We have other options that we are looking at...but something tells me that this is our house.
Unfortunately for our family there is a burning question that will soon need an answer. Are we going to stay in the UK?
I can say, 'I don't know'. Really that is the heart of it. I don't know. If we stay here for another 3 years; The princess will be almost 9 Mario 7 and Luigi 5. They are still young; but at that point, should we move? I don't have answers. So with that on my brain, I'm trying to find a house that in the future we could buy if we wanted to. The Oast house is also for sale.
I am a Cancer. All Cancer's need a home. We need a place that we know is ours. I'm getting over the fact that I'm not looking for my forever home right now, just a rental. But my Cancer says find the home you love, because you never know.
There is so many options out there for us, my head is spinning. Do we leave our area, move to a whole different area? What about commuting times? What about schools? should we change schools? What happens if we need to add more commuting time? Seriously this has been my thought process since November. NOVEMBER people! It's time to stop the madness, I need to find a place before I go cuckoo!
Will you dear reader, for my sanity pray I find the way. In meeting (Quaker) a couple of weeks ago God told me that he is preparing a house...did he mean it literally? like as in the house needs renovating? Dear God, I'm now trying to figure out the great riddles of the world...
Anyway, pray for clarity. I just can't see with all these questions!
When we moved to England we had the wonderful support of The Relocation Consultancy. Seriously I couldn't of asked for better help with our move. They did everything and I'm forever grateful. We picked a house based on location (in a village, close to school and great commute times). It's a lovely house for Canadians who have waaaay to much big furniture! Yes we took our furniture! Why? well it was cheeper to bring it then to store it. Hubby and I have been living together for a long time and we've collected a lot of furniture that we love and adore and couldn't replace. So it came and here we all are. Now a year and a half in, we're on the house hunt again! Good lord, will these Davey's never stop!?
We've come to the realization that this house; although lovely, is too expensive. In order for us to buy a house in the very near future (right huney?) we need to save and save big. This house will not allow for that. We're only supposed to be in the UK for another year and half, but as we know... that looks more like a dream then reality. I'm thinking probably closer to another 3 years.
So the hunt has led us to the small, the smaller, the dirty, and the wows. Reality is we need a house for five people and company. We don't have company often, but we do get some and the house needs to support that. We also have LARGE furniture (as I said before). We did fall in love with a lovely 1920's home. Fell head over heels. It was the type of home that you would never leave. We would of done anything to stay there and make it ours. That was the problem. We found out it recently sold for 1.7 million pounds! who the f can afford that?!
So here
**PLEASE NOTE, THIS ISN'T THE HOUSE...JUST WHAT AN OAST HOUSE LOOKS LIKE!**
They are lovely when cared for and converted properly. The house I have found is anything but cared for and loved. Hubby couldn't get out of the house fast enough, I on the other hand...well it was like Jerry Maguire, you had me at restored beams.
It's close to schools if we want to change, its rural (with footpaths and green all around), it's located steps to the rail and it's priced well below budget. Honestly it doesn't get better then that. So will we fit? Not sure. The bathrooms are small, the house is smaller...but the house. It needs me. We have other options that we are looking at...but something tells me that this is our house.
Unfortunately for our family there is a burning question that will soon need an answer. Are we going to stay in the UK?
I can say, 'I don't know'. Really that is the heart of it. I don't know. If we stay here for another 3 years; The princess will be almost 9 Mario 7 and Luigi 5. They are still young; but at that point, should we move? I don't have answers. So with that on my brain, I'm trying to find a house that in the future we could buy if we wanted to. The Oast house is also for sale.
I am a Cancer. All Cancer's need a home. We need a place that we know is ours. I'm getting over the fact that I'm not looking for my forever home right now, just a rental. But my Cancer says find the home you love, because you never know.
There is so many options out there for us, my head is spinning. Do we leave our area, move to a whole different area? What about commuting times? What about schools? should we change schools? What happens if we need to add more commuting time? Seriously this has been my thought process since November. NOVEMBER people! It's time to stop the madness, I need to find a place before I go cuckoo!
Will you dear reader, for my sanity pray I find the way. In meeting (Quaker) a couple of weeks ago God told me that he is preparing a house...did he mean it literally? like as in the house needs renovating? Dear God, I'm now trying to figure out the great riddles of the world...
Anyway, pray for clarity. I just can't see with all these questions!
Tuesday 17 January 2012
the snail mail project
Happy New Year Dear Reader!
I know it's been some time since I blogged. I haven't forgotten my wee blog promise. But I have been consumed by Christmas, New year and house hunting.
As most of you know once I get 'on' something, it's really hard for me to do much else.
Well here I am! I have Christmas and New Years off my plate, house hunting is on the main front line..but I can blog and do that...can't I?
Our rental is due in Summer and our landlord is looking to sell soon. I thought it would be better if I get on the hunting sooner rather then later. Plus this house is loads more money then one should spend on a rental! We have looked at many houses and nothing really seems to fit the bill. Too small, to run down, not close enough to rail, not close enough to school and everything in between. We may have found a gem in an Oast House, but time will tell. It's in bad shape, and I'm not sure any amount of love will make it a lovely place to live for the time we have left here. Stay tuned!
I was reading something this morning on how to attracted readers to your blog. I'm not trying to attract anyone really. Just a good read. One of the points made was mail outs. Not emails, who wants more email? but snail mail. You know, the shit before email became the shit?
Not sure what I could mail you about, could be anything really. So I'm wondering; Dear Reader, would YOU like a letter? Just for you? delivered to your door? with my messy hand writing? Call it the snail mail project if you like. A way to get my hand writing again and the mail man working for his dollar.
If you dear reader are interested in the snail mail project please email me at thesnailmailproject@gmail.com
Maybe once I get going on snail mail, I can get others involved too. okay okay, one letter at a time!
xo
I know it's been some time since I blogged. I haven't forgotten my wee blog promise. But I have been consumed by Christmas, New year and house hunting.
As most of you know once I get 'on' something, it's really hard for me to do much else.
Well here I am! I have Christmas and New Years off my plate, house hunting is on the main front line..but I can blog and do that...can't I?
Our rental is due in Summer and our landlord is looking to sell soon. I thought it would be better if I get on the hunting sooner rather then later. Plus this house is loads more money then one should spend on a rental! We have looked at many houses and nothing really seems to fit the bill. Too small, to run down, not close enough to rail, not close enough to school and everything in between. We may have found a gem in an Oast House, but time will tell. It's in bad shape, and I'm not sure any amount of love will make it a lovely place to live for the time we have left here. Stay tuned!
I was reading something this morning on how to attracted readers to your blog. I'm not trying to attract anyone really. Just a good read. One of the points made was mail outs. Not emails, who wants more email? but snail mail. You know, the shit before email became the shit?
Not sure what I could mail you about, could be anything really. So I'm wondering; Dear Reader, would YOU like a letter? Just for you? delivered to your door? with my messy hand writing? Call it the snail mail project if you like. A way to get my hand writing again and the mail man working for his dollar.
If you dear reader are interested in the snail mail project please email me at thesnailmailproject@gmail.com
Maybe once I get going on snail mail, I can get others involved too. okay okay, one letter at a time!
xo
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