My poor little blog.
I just noticed that I haven't payed it any attention since the 15th of November! The 15th! that's like, 15 days ago!
I have also neglected to include a post on my darling grumpy 3 year old turning 4, and the queen mum visiting from Canada (eh?)
le sigh
That's life as a mum of three rowdy kids! Some months are light and airy, other months you wonder who tied the cinder blocks to your legs.
I'm riding a wave of depression this week. The week started rough, with the queen leaving. I yoga'd myself into a happy state and now I'm riding the calm. The happy place. The place of peace and inner OM...
I love this state and wish I could be here every week, every day, every hour. I know it won't last long. I've been doing yoga all week, despite my body crying for a Jillian Michaels session. It actually got me wondering if I could do yoga full time. Ya know, as a *GASP* job. This could be my inner Hippie talking again. It's the wave I'm in. The mood could ride out at anytime.
I've been in a Christmas state of mind, dying for the Christmas decorations to be pulled out...which I did on Monday when I kept the kids home (sick of course!) Saturday we'll get a tree, Sunday we'll decorate it. The next few weeks, I'll finish shopping. Excited is way to plain for how I feel!
With the waves I've been in recently, it got me thinking that maybe I need to return back to God. Okay, before you all go, oh Jesus. My idea of God is very different from most people. I'm not going to get into it. Let's just say, I believe in everything. Anyway, the word 'Quaker' got whispered to me this month and I've done my research and think I might of found a home. Now before you think I've totally flipped my marbles, I've just been thinking. I'm going to a meeting this week. That's all. I'm not one for Sunday gatherings, but I really think this is an answer for me.
These waves of depression have really really been sinking me lately and I don't know how much more on my own I can do. I'm looking for a life line and feel it coming. I'll let you all know how I get on.
I finally heard news this week that I've been waiting to hear. I have a year and a half left before we move back home. This is HUGE for me. I'm the type of cancer (the sign) that needs home. That needs a place of roots and stability. I need it bad. To know that in less then 2 years I'll have that, puts me in a state of giddy.
I'm not sure where home is going to be. But there will be a house. There will be a place of our own. There will be a permanent roof over our heads. The house will be filled with love. That's all that matters to me. If I had my little way, we'd be moving to Scotland and living off the sea and Clottie dumplings. But we go where hubby works and that is that. le sigh.
The kids are growing like weeds and as I said in the first few lines, Mario has turned 4. I can't believe it's been 4 years since my little grump entered the world. I use the term grump, with as much love as I can. For he truly is a grump. He is his Grandpa Mike to the core. We love him despite the scowl.
My dear family and friends back home. I miss you all very much and homesick is starting to get the best of me. I miss your faces and your voices. I miss your laughter and your joy that you bring us. I miss seeing your children grow and your families change. I miss being able to visit you when ever I want and you spending time at my house. I hope you are all well.
I'm going to try to do an advent blog posting spree. not sure what on. I'm sure I'll figure it out.
take care
xo
Wednesday 30 November 2011
Tuesday 15 November 2011
Save the Children
Everyday I see a commercial trying to get me to 'save the children'. Send in my money and please save the children. You know, I'm not a mean person. I love to help, it's in my blood. But these commercials just make me upset.
You know how we-the people, can save the children?! By adopting them. If the process of adoption was easier we could really save some children. I get that there are sick and twisted people out there that would love some needy children, to exploit and hurt. I get that. But through the muck of that, there are people out there that would give limbs to have a child.
You know; no matter how much money I gave, these children would still be in a state of 'need'. They really would. I know a lot of these children are not up for adoption, but as a mother I hope that another mother would see the opportunity to help her child and let them be adopted. I know I would.
There has to be a way to weed out the nasty people and let the good ones through. There just has to be a way. We are so blessed to live in a 'wealthy' part of the world, which allows us to provide for others. So why isn't this an option? Why???
These commercials are breaking my heart, especially when the child is close in age to my own. I have so much to give and I know you do to! I wish these countries would start giving qualified parents a shot and let these children go to good homes, homes that would truly help their situation.
Maybe adoption isn't the best way, what do you think?
xo
You know how we-the people, can save the children?! By adopting them. If the process of adoption was easier we could really save some children. I get that there are sick and twisted people out there that would love some needy children, to exploit and hurt. I get that. But through the muck of that, there are people out there that would give limbs to have a child.
You know; no matter how much money I gave, these children would still be in a state of 'need'. They really would. I know a lot of these children are not up for adoption, but as a mother I hope that another mother would see the opportunity to help her child and let them be adopted. I know I would.
There has to be a way to weed out the nasty people and let the good ones through. There just has to be a way. We are so blessed to live in a 'wealthy' part of the world, which allows us to provide for others. So why isn't this an option? Why???
These commercials are breaking my heart, especially when the child is close in age to my own. I have so much to give and I know you do to! I wish these countries would start giving qualified parents a shot and let these children go to good homes, homes that would truly help their situation.
Maybe adoption isn't the best way, what do you think?
xo
Thursday 10 November 2011
the butt of God's jokes
okay seriously, I'm sure I posted 3 posts since my last one...but see none of them. Guess I didn't hit 'publish' or maybe I dreamed them? Anyway..
I'm getting really really tired of being the butt of God's jokes. I really am. It has gone beyond the point of 'bad day'. The 'bad days' I have are so to the point where they have to be for some bodies comic relief.
This morning I prepared myself for a busy day. I was to be at the hospital at 9:50 for a hospital appointment for Mario. At 8:30ish I had double checked my purse for things I would need, the kids were ready and waiting, I just needed the keys. Where are those keys. I might misplace a lot of things, keys are not one of them. I NEVER misplace my keys. I'm a fanatic about time, and misplaced keys means having to be late. I under no circumstance will ever ever be late for anything. Seriously I have issues.
After 10 minutes of searching there are no keys. Hubby says he doesn't have them. Now I'm mad because a) I'm going to have to cancel the appointment and b) am going to be late to drop the princess off at school unless we run.
Run to school with kids (strangely the car doors are open and I'm able to get the stroller). Drop off the princess race home to cancel the appointment. The nurse at the hospital in her own special way told me I was being silly not coming and I should find a way to get there. She tells me another nurse will call me back to reschedule. Next nurse calls me to basically tell me to get in now, because I won't be able to get in until December. Really?! seriously, really?! After making me feel like shit she tells me she'll call me back....great, I look forward to it. Call back and they can see me next week. Great, hopefully I will have keys then. I'm taking this as a sign as the car hasn't been feeling well and the engine is sick and I was really nervous about going anyway (it's a 20 minute drive in good traffic-in our area there is no good traffic!) so what ever.
After I calm down I check the boys, 1 is sitting nicely watching TV the other is sitting on the table tossing raisins around like confetti at a wedding. Clean mess. Decide I need a tea. make tea, sit down, washer starts beeping. fix washer, sit down, dryer starts beeping. Fix dryer, sit down, dog starts barking. Shut dog up, sit down. oh look it's just about time to shut off the tv. gulp tea, turn off tv. Go and play with the boys.
Luigi decided that I needed a lesson in crash em up and I get smacked in the head with a train..twice. Time to get changed I think. Oh look the clean shirt (white) I put on this am has grease on it. great. After playing a bit more I head down to make lunch. What's that noise? oh someone played with the dishwasher buttons and it's running now. There is no cancel button, so it's washing it's self. As there aren't any dishes in it. Get a pot and smash my finger in the drawer, put on stove smack head on the head on the range.
Over this day, is way to plain for how I feel.
Now a normal person would be like 'hey, I'm having a shitty day' I on the other hand have these days once a week. I am now thinking it's beyond having a bad day. I'm tired of doing this every week and feeling at the total end of my rope. It leaves me tired and highly irritable. every week. seriously here.
I know a lot of you are religious and are thinking I need to go to church. I believe in God. Don't get me wrong. But the way I believe in faith is not how most people believe in faith. There is sadly no church for those who believe in all faiths. There is no spiritual house.
I am tired of not being able to let go. I'm tried of being on edge. I am tired of this practical joke. I keep hearing 'this too will pass' well you know what?! it's not f'n passing!
I'm now going to enjoy my bacon samich, put the monster baby to bed, put more TV on for Mario and indulge in a large serving of chocolate. maybe have a nap. As for this mess I call my house. I think it can wait until tomorrow.
Oy
I'm getting really really tired of being the butt of God's jokes. I really am. It has gone beyond the point of 'bad day'. The 'bad days' I have are so to the point where they have to be for some bodies comic relief.
This morning I prepared myself for a busy day. I was to be at the hospital at 9:50 for a hospital appointment for Mario. At 8:30ish I had double checked my purse for things I would need, the kids were ready and waiting, I just needed the keys. Where are those keys. I might misplace a lot of things, keys are not one of them. I NEVER misplace my keys. I'm a fanatic about time, and misplaced keys means having to be late. I under no circumstance will ever ever be late for anything. Seriously I have issues.
After 10 minutes of searching there are no keys. Hubby says he doesn't have them. Now I'm mad because a) I'm going to have to cancel the appointment and b) am going to be late to drop the princess off at school unless we run.
Run to school with kids (strangely the car doors are open and I'm able to get the stroller). Drop off the princess race home to cancel the appointment. The nurse at the hospital in her own special way told me I was being silly not coming and I should find a way to get there. She tells me another nurse will call me back to reschedule. Next nurse calls me to basically tell me to get in now, because I won't be able to get in until December. Really?! seriously, really?! After making me feel like shit she tells me she'll call me back....great, I look forward to it. Call back and they can see me next week. Great, hopefully I will have keys then. I'm taking this as a sign as the car hasn't been feeling well and the engine is sick and I was really nervous about going anyway (it's a 20 minute drive in good traffic-in our area there is no good traffic!) so what ever.
After I calm down I check the boys, 1 is sitting nicely watching TV the other is sitting on the table tossing raisins around like confetti at a wedding. Clean mess. Decide I need a tea. make tea, sit down, washer starts beeping. fix washer, sit down, dryer starts beeping. Fix dryer, sit down, dog starts barking. Shut dog up, sit down. oh look it's just about time to shut off the tv. gulp tea, turn off tv. Go and play with the boys.
Luigi decided that I needed a lesson in crash em up and I get smacked in the head with a train..twice. Time to get changed I think. Oh look the clean shirt (white) I put on this am has grease on it. great. After playing a bit more I head down to make lunch. What's that noise? oh someone played with the dishwasher buttons and it's running now. There is no cancel button, so it's washing it's self. As there aren't any dishes in it. Get a pot and smash my finger in the drawer, put on stove smack head on the head on the range.
Over this day, is way to plain for how I feel.
Now a normal person would be like 'hey, I'm having a shitty day' I on the other hand have these days once a week. I am now thinking it's beyond having a bad day. I'm tired of doing this every week and feeling at the total end of my rope. It leaves me tired and highly irritable. every week. seriously here.
I know a lot of you are religious and are thinking I need to go to church. I believe in God. Don't get me wrong. But the way I believe in faith is not how most people believe in faith. There is sadly no church for those who believe in all faiths. There is no spiritual house.
I am tired of not being able to let go. I'm tried of being on edge. I am tired of this practical joke. I keep hearing 'this too will pass' well you know what?! it's not f'n passing!
I'm now going to enjoy my bacon samich, put the monster baby to bed, put more TV on for Mario and indulge in a large serving of chocolate. maybe have a nap. As for this mess I call my house. I think it can wait until tomorrow.
Oy
Wednesday 2 November 2011
The Eczema battle
When I was a kid I had slight eczema on my arms. It went away fairly quickly after a scrip for some topical cream. After the princess was born, the battle of eczema started again, this time on my hands. For 5.5 years now I have been battling eczema.
I have tried everything. No fooling. Apple cider vinegar, change of diet, more exercise, oils, homeopathic treatments, natural remedies, no cosmetics, lavender oil, olive oil and now the dreaded steroid cream.
After all that I'm still here battling this out. I must say the steroid cream has helped quiet a bit. I hate using it, but when you get at the end of your rope, you become desperate. I think my skin is now on a revolt as everything seems to be taking a turn for the worse. The eczema seems to be getting bad again, I now have a patch of eczema on my arm, my face is oily and breaking out, my lips seem to have developed a small rash around it, I have a severe dry eye case at the moment and my hair has taken a turn down oil ville and I'm unable to get it clean looking.
I am a very desperate woman indeed. There really isn't much of a point to this post today. It was really trying to get the word out that I'm in desperate need of answers. I'm hoping that if I put the word out that I'm suffering bad over here, that someone out there in this world will rescue me from my skin revolt.
Please note natural remedies ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY DO NOT WORK FOR ME.
Anyone else suffering these days?
ox
I have tried everything. No fooling. Apple cider vinegar, change of diet, more exercise, oils, homeopathic treatments, natural remedies, no cosmetics, lavender oil, olive oil and now the dreaded steroid cream.
After all that I'm still here battling this out. I must say the steroid cream has helped quiet a bit. I hate using it, but when you get at the end of your rope, you become desperate. I think my skin is now on a revolt as everything seems to be taking a turn for the worse. The eczema seems to be getting bad again, I now have a patch of eczema on my arm, my face is oily and breaking out, my lips seem to have developed a small rash around it, I have a severe dry eye case at the moment and my hair has taken a turn down oil ville and I'm unable to get it clean looking.
I am a very desperate woman indeed. There really isn't much of a point to this post today. It was really trying to get the word out that I'm in desperate need of answers. I'm hoping that if I put the word out that I'm suffering bad over here, that someone out there in this world will rescue me from my skin revolt.
Please note natural remedies ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY DO NOT WORK FOR ME.
Anyone else suffering these days?
ox
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