the butt of God's jokes

okay seriously, I'm sure I posted 3 posts since my last one...but see none of them. Guess I didn't hit 'publish' or maybe I dreamed them? Anyway..

I'm getting really really tired of being the butt of God's jokes. I really am. It has gone beyond the point of 'bad day'. The 'bad days' I have are so to the point where they have to be for some bodies comic relief.

This morning I prepared myself for a busy day. I was to be at the hospital at 9:50 for a hospital appointment for Mario. At 8:30ish I had double checked my purse for things I would need, the kids were ready and waiting, I just needed the keys. Where are those keys. I might misplace a lot of things, keys are not one of them. I NEVER misplace my keys. I'm a fanatic about time, and misplaced keys means having to be late. I under no circumstance will ever ever be late for anything. Seriously I have issues.

After 10 minutes of searching there are no keys. Hubby says he doesn't have them. Now I'm mad because a) I'm going to have to cancel the appointment and b) am going to be late to drop the princess off at school unless we run.

Run to school with kids (strangely the car doors are open and I'm able to get the stroller). Drop off the princess race home to cancel the appointment. The nurse at the hospital in her own special way told me I was being silly not coming and I should find a way to get there. She tells me another nurse will call me back to reschedule. Next nurse calls me to basically tell me to get in now, because I won't be able to get in until December. Really?! seriously, really?! After making me feel like shit she tells me she'll call me back....great, I look forward to it. Call back and they can see me next week. Great, hopefully I will have keys then. I'm taking this as a sign as the car hasn't been feeling well and the engine is sick and I was really nervous about going anyway (it's a 20 minute drive in good traffic-in our area there is no good traffic!) so what ever.

After I calm down I check the boys, 1 is sitting nicely watching TV the other is sitting on the table tossing raisins around like confetti at a wedding. Clean mess. Decide I need a tea. make tea, sit down, washer starts beeping. fix washer, sit down, dryer starts beeping. Fix dryer, sit down, dog starts barking. Shut dog up, sit down. oh look it's just about time to shut off the tv. gulp tea, turn off tv. Go and play with the boys.

Luigi decided that I needed a lesson in crash em up and I get smacked in the head with a train..twice. Time to get changed I think. Oh look the clean shirt (white) I put on this am has grease on it. great. After playing a bit more I head down to make lunch. What's that noise? oh someone played with the dishwasher buttons and it's running now. There is no cancel button, so it's washing it's self. As there aren't any dishes in it. Get a pot and smash my finger in the drawer, put on stove smack head on the head on the range.

Over this day, is way to plain for how I feel.

Now a normal person would be like 'hey, I'm having a shitty day' I on the other hand have these days once a week. I am now thinking it's beyond having a bad day. I'm tired of doing this every week and feeling at the total end of my rope. It leaves me tired and highly irritable. every week. seriously here.

I know a lot of you are religious and are thinking I need to go to church. I believe in God. Don't get me wrong. But the way I believe in faith is not how most people believe in faith. There is sadly no church for those who believe in all faiths. There is no spiritual house.

I am tired of not being able to let go. I'm tried of being on edge. I am tired of this practical joke. I keep hearing 'this too will pass' well you know what?! it's not f'n passing!

I'm now going to enjoy my bacon samich, put the monster baby to bed, put more TV on for Mario and indulge in a large serving of chocolate. maybe have a nap. As for this mess I call my house. I think it can wait until tomorrow.

Oy

Stop the world

As you know my fuse is short. Really short. It does not take much for me to be 'set off'. I'm pretty sure that whoever God is, I was created this way for their enjoyment and fun.

Today started as a typical day. Up early, coffee made for hubby, set hubby off on his way (too early for my liking!) and proceeded to continue normally with the kids. I must admit, the morning is my time. When I sit down to tea or coffee and breakfast, I turn on my computer and let the kids free play. This normally works fine and the kids are very happy running around and playing. This was the case today. I did have somethings that I needed to do this morning. So I knew I had to be moving and cleaned to go for 9am.  Que God. Laughing. They had to be.

8am arrived with a muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum, the whole jar of fish food is in the fish tank!
'WHAT?!'
As I arrived on the scene I asset the damage. 1 jar of fish food, in 1 fish tank. Plus what ever didn't make it in, all over the floor.
'Who did this?!'
Luigi-'MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'
'Great, just great'
As I gathered the items needed to clean the fish tank plus the tools to scoop out the food, someone turned on the TV full blast and then someone hit someone on the head which lead to the princess screaming.
'Dear God' At this point, why am I even praying?
Scoop out food, cypher water (drink some), head to kitchen with one very large pot filled just about to the brim with water...why make 2 trips with half pots, when you can make 1 trip with an over filled pot?
on the way to the laundry room the cord to the filter (that was in my pot) got snagged on a kitchen chair, sending dirty fish water plus food all over the kitchen floor.
I won't dear reader tell you the words that came falling out of my mouth. Lets just say that they were less then ideal for a house filled with children.
As I clean up the fish mess on the kitchen floor, I heard giggling from the living room.
Luigi thought that maybe he should get the fish out of the bowl, for their safety of course.
Rescue fish, clean up kitchen, finish the tank.
Try to finish breakfast cleanup.
Then a thought came to mind. 'I should make the brownies now and they can cook while I get dressed.'
Que God laughing again..
Grab the ingredients...oh I'm almost out of white flour, I'll add brown. Oh I'm almost out of oil, I'll use buttermilk....needless to say these turned out as the brownies that never should of been.
After 40 minutes they still weren't cooked.
covered them, turned down temperature to low and headed out the door to run errands.
What's that noise?..oh yea, God laughing...
Get into town, realized that I didn't have much change for parking...found enough in the car to give me 30 minutes. Walked to the library, dropped off books...by the time I had walked downstairs and back up. The sky had opened. In England it doesn't rain, it's like a bucket of water falling at your face..seriously.
I still had dry cleaning and dog food to pick up..did I mention that Mario, Luigi and the Princess are with me?!
By the time we got back to the car we aren't just wet we are honestly soaked. Soaked right to the knickers!
Now we're home. We're tired and everyone is in the most foul mood I have ever seen.
We're supposed to go out this afternoon. I'm almost afraid to go out that door.

Is this just my life? Please tell me I'm not the only one that has too much going on and it all goes wrong at the same time!

I'm so over this day. I'm over this week. I'm over summer break.

Stop this world, mamma needs a spa day!

xo