spiritual redirection

As most of you know, I've been on a hardcore quest for body perfection. I've been waking up at 5am and working my ass off. I'm not expecting a Jillian Michaels body here. It would be seriously nice, but I know that I've had three kids and four pregnancies. I know I've had them close together, and I know my body was never given the chance to 'firm up'. But I would love a body that I felt comfortable with. One that I could put on a nice dress and go 'hot'. Not 'I can't wear that, because it doesn't fit over the baby belly'

I'm not going to lie. I hate working out. There is nothing that I particularly enjoy about it. I don't enjoy waking up at 5. I don't enjoy the kids joining me. I don't enjoy having to be quiet. I don't enjoy doing it on my own. But I know if I want to loose the belly. I'm going to have to fight. I've been using a mix of Jillian Michaels, Carmen Electra and some scary valley girl who burns your abs away.

Truthfully, I only have a half hour in the morning. That's all, 30-40 minutes and I need to be done. Morning is the only time I can fit this in and the kids get up early! These videos fit the bill!

Last week when my mummy left, I really felt the need to shut the hard core workers out and bring in a little OMMMMMMM. By Wednesday with the help of Yoga, I lifted the dark cloud. I also lifted a stress cloud that sat above my head. How interesting. By Friday, I felt great. Not a little great. A lot great. Due to family and wanting to sleep, the weekends are not for working out.

Today I knew I was getting up early and I thought, right enough fluffy shit I need to get back into 'working out'. By the time I had gotten changed and down stairs, Yoga was on my mind. I pulled out my mat and stretched my way into Monday.

In order for you to see real body change with Yoga, you should be doing 3 sessions a week for 90 minutes. As I said before 40 minutes is the max for me. I'm starting to wonder if there is something more to this yoga. As I feel the veil of need for a smooth body disappearing and the want for this inner calm to go on forever. I can't think of ever going back to working out hardcore. I just love the way my day starts with stretching and moving for me. The way my arms feel after extending, the way my back feels after twisting and the way my mind feels after digging deeply into poses.

I feel just a weight off my shoulders. Like I can do this. Like this job of mummy, like getting up each morning, like taking care of others all day...can work. Like I can really really do this. I really do live in a world of ups and downs and at any moment a down can come as quickly as a high was here. So far in the past week, I've just felt steady.

Yesterday, I decided to go to my first Quaker meeting. At first it felt like a support group for religious delinquents. But after my hour of quiet and inner thoughts. I really felt lifted. I felt just as I do with Yoga. Like this is all going to be all right. Strange how the two seem to fit so well together.

I feel like I've hit a block of spiritual redirection. I must admit it feels great. I feel great. I don't know if I'll ever get that 'perfect body' but right now. In this moment. I'm okay with that. Just as I'm okay with everything else going around me. I truly feel as though I have been given a gift of clarity. In a short week, my Yoga practice has become a truly important part of my day.

I feel like I needed answers I need someone/thing to take over and I just feel blessed to of found it.

Namaste

P.S I know I'm supposed to be doing 'Christmas' posts. But felt in the spirit of Christmas that a spiritual post was fitting xo