We do get admired a lot. I guess in this day in age, where a marriage can be as short as a one night stand (in fact, some marriages ARE one night stands!) 8 years are impressive years. I know some of you just getting married, or thinking about getting married still have your rose glasses on. I'm here to bitch slap them off your face. Marriage is tough work people. Tough work. There are ups and downs, there are spinning moments, there are times of pure frustration, there are days when you wake up and pray that they aren't there. There are also high times; times you lye awake in the dark talking about the future, there are days when you melt in your partners arms, sometimes you count the minutes until they get home. Marriage is like some kick ass roller coaster, really!
My husband and I started this journey in Grade 10! I knew even then that I would marry him. But grade 10 is too early for anything serious, so you know how that went! When we got our selves together 3 years later, we never looked back. I think the number one thing that has held us together all this time is FRIENDSHIP! My man servant is my best friend in the whole world. We make decisions mostly based on what we as friends would do. We also see this as a complete 100% partnership. We support each other, no matter how crazy the idea is. We're not afraid to cry, laugh and break down with each other. This is really important shit people. If you can't say and feel exactly what you need to, then your in the wrong relationship! You need to be able to be honest, all the time with your spouse. Communicate. Always Communicate.
I'm going to be honest here. There is going to come a time, when you might not love your partner as you did in the beginning. This IS normal. Your past the huneymoon and working on the real shit. I'm not saying your going to stop loving your partner, I'm saying your love is going to change into something more mature. This is good. Really good. It means that your living, growing and changing with your partner. It means that your marriage is succeeding!
To me once you make a commitment to your partner, you make it for life. This is it. There is no turning back. Now if said partner fucked up royally and I had just cause, then yes kick him to the curb! But every day your going to have to work at this. Your going to have to give it your all. Your going to have to dig deep. EVERYDAY. There are no holidays in marriages. It's not going to be hard (well somedays will be) these are easy everyday things. Telling your spouse that you love them. Making them breakfast. Getting them a cup of coffee. Making the bed (if that floats there boat!) anything that might make your loved one, feel a little more loved. These little things, are also a great way to say sorry. If all your partner asks for is a kiss each morning, then do that! In time, you will know what your partner needs.
There is a really really great book out there called The 5 languages of love by Gary Chapman. It's a bit hokey in some areas. But the message is awesome. I've learned a lot from the book and it's filled with 'a ha!' moments. Pick it up, give it a look through. It will be worth the time.
okay dear reader, I think you get the message. Marriage can be wonderful and amazing. It can also be draining and tiring. It's most definitely hard work. It will be worth it. When you get to a point, where you run like a well oil machine. You will know how rewarding your hard work has been. Don't be frightened. It's all good!
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