Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Why I f'n hate driving in this country

1) I drive a Land Rover Discovery
2) the roads were built for mini's
3) Signs are always unclear
4) I am a short person that drives a car clearly built for some asshole on stilts
5) I have a short fuse
6) I always end up having to do 24 point turns in alley ways

Simple task 'take kids to swimming'. I have to leave at least 40 minutes early the first time because of said points above. Case in point today; Get to school where swimming lessons were located. Where to park? oh over there! Sign pointed to small alley way at the back of the school for visitors parking. No actually some fuckwad turned said sign and it was actually supposed to point to staff and area parking. I went down the alley way in my Land Rover Discovery. Clearly, this was not where I was supposed to be, after it was too late. I had to do a 24 point turn in between some little shits left over art project and two WM bins (short shout out here to my WM peeps...hayoo!) while two men in a red lorry waited for me to turn my ass back where I came from. Now my fuse is smoking and I'm cursing words not meant for little kids (do you sense a theme here? Clearly I was meant to be a sailor) Park in a tight spot where ever the fuck I wanted to, cause at this point..what's a ticket?! Only later it occurred to me that I might of gotten towed! On the way to parking I decided to hit the curb.

I really do hate driving in this country. I'm pretty sure it's God laughing again. Remind some time to tell you of me stopping a whole intersection of traffic while I made my own lane because I got lost and confused and turned into on coming traffic...yes dear reader, another day on the road with me.

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