Wednesday, 12 March 2014
Saturday, 8 March 2014
Friday, 7 March 2014
Thursday, 6 March 2014
Tuesday, 4 March 2014
Sunday, 2 March 2014
Wednesday, 26 February 2014
Sunday, 23 February 2014
Friday, 21 February 2014
Wednesday, 29 January 2014
Marriage Mondays
A Time to Fight and a Time to Walk Away
I realize its Wednesday. Last week I really struggled with the post. It was really hard for me to write to you to leave your relationship. I believe in marriage and unity so much it was a fight to post those words. It was necessary for me to say them though. I felt it was important to tell you it was okay. I didn't know what to say this week. I really thought long and hard for this week, that's why its now Wednesday.
This week I'm telling you to fight. Hubby and I made a pact way back when I still had hips and he was still eating with hollow legs. To never give up on each other. To fight for each other no matter what. He may not remember, but I do. Even if he doesn't remember, I know he holds it in his heart. I know this because so many times I have fallen down. So many times I looked at him and he knew he better step up. So many times I have cried my face off and he knew this was his moment to carry me.
I'm telling you Dear Reader, that if your partner looks at you with those done eyes. And says to you that there is nothing left, you had better put on your armor and gear up for battle. This is your relationship. The one you've been working hard on (or should be!) You've been putting in the effort, the 110% everyday. You've pushed past the hard days and come out on top. Dear Reader, fight. Fight for love, for your partner, for yourself. Fight. If they can no longer find a reason to continue this relationship you had best be showing them the reason! If your partner can't see the light at the end of the tunnel you had better get them a flash light. If the pieces are falling apart around your partner; dear God man, grab a bag!
We are human. We are not perfect. We have moments of rock bottom. It is your job to hoist your partner up and carry them to the end. Your going to have to fight. Whatever that means. Therapy? flowers everyday? coffee on demand? let them hold the remote? Whatever that means, do it! don't even think twice, just do it. Do not for a moment say to your partner, 'your right, lets get this over with' not until you have fought the hard fight and done everything to make it work. Not for a moment do you have the right to wave the white flag until you have tried everything possible to win. Fight it out. Fight with every fiber of your being and with every ounce of love you have. Fight.
oh Dears, I wish I could say that was the end. But it's not. Because sometimes love can stand up, even with a good fight. Sometimes your partner can't be carried. Or fought for. Sometimes even with the toughest of fights, it's done. Here is where your really going to have to dig deep. Be the bigger person. For the last hurrah of this relationship your going to have to know when to walk away. Once you have fought and the white flag is out. Once you and your partner have agreed it's done. Then it's done. There is no point being an asshat and kicking the dead horse. If they want the pictures on your wall and the washer; is that going to kill you? If they want the kids every other weekend and share holidays is that really going to break you? Be sensible and reasonable!
Don't make the walking away harder then it needs to be. I know you're hurt. I know you're wounded. I know you want to inflict pain. I get that. In the end, what good is it to drag it out? sever the ties and let your partner loose. Do it for the love you once or still have. Settle your differences and move on with your life.
Now I'm in no way saying become a door mat. I'm not telling you to let your partner walk all over you. If they are trying to take away your kids, and steal your money and rob you of your humanity then for God sake steam roller them. You don't need that, and they are being the asshat!
Dear Reader, I know relationships are tricky. But there is someone out there worth the fight. If your with them, keep fighting. Everyday. Fight. They are worth it and so are you. In the end, if the fight is done. Then dust yourself off and pick up your pride. Know when to walk away. Know when to raise that white flag, before it gets ugly.
Knowing that the fight is done, doesn't make you a failure. You did NOT fail at this. Some fights just can't be won. It's okay to love your partner enough to let them go. Believe in yourself enough to know that there is someone better waiting for you.
Because Hubby and I's relationship can be summed up by matchbox 20, I'm including this...
I realize its Wednesday. Last week I really struggled with the post. It was really hard for me to write to you to leave your relationship. I believe in marriage and unity so much it was a fight to post those words. It was necessary for me to say them though. I felt it was important to tell you it was okay. I didn't know what to say this week. I really thought long and hard for this week, that's why its now Wednesday.
This week I'm telling you to fight. Hubby and I made a pact way back when I still had hips and he was still eating with hollow legs. To never give up on each other. To fight for each other no matter what. He may not remember, but I do. Even if he doesn't remember, I know he holds it in his heart. I know this because so many times I have fallen down. So many times I looked at him and he knew he better step up. So many times I have cried my face off and he knew this was his moment to carry me.
I'm telling you Dear Reader, that if your partner looks at you with those done eyes. And says to you that there is nothing left, you had better put on your armor and gear up for battle. This is your relationship. The one you've been working hard on (or should be!) You've been putting in the effort, the 110% everyday. You've pushed past the hard days and come out on top. Dear Reader, fight. Fight for love, for your partner, for yourself. Fight. If they can no longer find a reason to continue this relationship you had best be showing them the reason! If your partner can't see the light at the end of the tunnel you had better get them a flash light. If the pieces are falling apart around your partner; dear God man, grab a bag!
We are human. We are not perfect. We have moments of rock bottom. It is your job to hoist your partner up and carry them to the end. Your going to have to fight. Whatever that means. Therapy? flowers everyday? coffee on demand? let them hold the remote? Whatever that means, do it! don't even think twice, just do it. Do not for a moment say to your partner, 'your right, lets get this over with' not until you have fought the hard fight and done everything to make it work. Not for a moment do you have the right to wave the white flag until you have tried everything possible to win. Fight it out. Fight with every fiber of your being and with every ounce of love you have. Fight.
oh Dears, I wish I could say that was the end. But it's not. Because sometimes love can stand up, even with a good fight. Sometimes your partner can't be carried. Or fought for. Sometimes even with the toughest of fights, it's done. Here is where your really going to have to dig deep. Be the bigger person. For the last hurrah of this relationship your going to have to know when to walk away. Once you have fought and the white flag is out. Once you and your partner have agreed it's done. Then it's done. There is no point being an asshat and kicking the dead horse. If they want the pictures on your wall and the washer; is that going to kill you? If they want the kids every other weekend and share holidays is that really going to break you? Be sensible and reasonable!
Don't make the walking away harder then it needs to be. I know you're hurt. I know you're wounded. I know you want to inflict pain. I get that. In the end, what good is it to drag it out? sever the ties and let your partner loose. Do it for the love you once or still have. Settle your differences and move on with your life.
Now I'm in no way saying become a door mat. I'm not telling you to let your partner walk all over you. If they are trying to take away your kids, and steal your money and rob you of your humanity then for God sake steam roller them. You don't need that, and they are being the asshat!
Dear Reader, I know relationships are tricky. But there is someone out there worth the fight. If your with them, keep fighting. Everyday. Fight. They are worth it and so are you. In the end, if the fight is done. Then dust yourself off and pick up your pride. Know when to walk away. Know when to raise that white flag, before it gets ugly.
Knowing that the fight is done, doesn't make you a failure. You did NOT fail at this. Some fights just can't be won. It's okay to love your partner enough to let them go. Believe in yourself enough to know that there is someone better waiting for you.
Because Hubby and I's relationship can be summed up by matchbox 20, I'm including this...
Monday, 20 January 2014
Marriage Mondays
Accepting the End
Being a child of two divorces you better believe I'm doing everything in my power to stay married! With that said, I believe there does comes a point where two people can look at each other and agree that this isn't working.
There are so many reasons why relationships fall apart. People grow up and sometimes that means growing apart. You start wanting different things in life and before you know it, your done. Maybe someone cheated. Maybe your partner is a true asshat and that isn't changing for anyone. Whatever the reason, relationships DO end.
I'm a firm believer that before you can say 'I'm done!' you need marriage counseling. Lots of it! I don't think two people can give up on anything before someone steps in and tries to mend the problems. With that said, the two people involved need to be willing to accept that change.
So you've done the counseling, you're all talked out. There is agreeably between the parties, nothing left. Its okay to walk away. It's okay to say, I deserve happiness. It's okay to end marriage. Like I said before, entering a partnership does not mean in anyway that you give up on your happiness. Please don't think I'm giving you permission here to toss out your partner because your 'not feeling it' I'm saying your going to hit a point where the talking isn't helping and there is no change a coming. It's okay at this point to say 'finished'
There I've said it and I'll say it again,
It's okay to end marriage (I'm including all relationships in this!)
I wouldn't recommend divorce to anyone. But what is the point of staying in relationship that just can't be fixed??
Dear Reader there will be tears, lots of them. Tears of frustration, tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of hurt, tears of relief and tears just for the sake of emotion. There will probably also be a mourning process. For the loss of a relationship, the loss of a partner and the loss of a piece of you. These are all normal and healthy things!
Please know that your not a failure here. You tried. You did the counseling. You broke down the walls and communicated. You put in the work. You did your best. It didn't work. Time to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Your going to have to be strong here. Not just for you, but for all parties involved.
Please don't think that you need to stay in a relationship because of the kids or because your mamma said. Don't stay because you think your a failure. Don't hang on because they are begging and pleading. Don't stick around because you think you have no other options.
If your done and you know in your heart that you are done. Its okay (as long as you put in the work!!!) to pack your bags and head out.
Who knows maybe after a break, love will come walking in your door again. Or maybe your partner will recognize the loss and try harder. Maybe you'll recognize the loss and try harder.
Your not a failure Dear Reader. This is just another chapter and you will come out stronger. You will see what you will and will not accept in a partner. You will recognize when your fire is being smothered. You will appreciate true and real love. All wonderful and awesome things.
Marriage IS hard work and you ARE worthy of a good partner. But if the hard work isn't paying off and your partner isn't giving you joy and happiness. It's okay to choose YOU in the end.
Being a child of two divorces you better believe I'm doing everything in my power to stay married! With that said, I believe there does comes a point where two people can look at each other and agree that this isn't working.
There are so many reasons why relationships fall apart. People grow up and sometimes that means growing apart. You start wanting different things in life and before you know it, your done. Maybe someone cheated. Maybe your partner is a true asshat and that isn't changing for anyone. Whatever the reason, relationships DO end.
I'm a firm believer that before you can say 'I'm done!' you need marriage counseling. Lots of it! I don't think two people can give up on anything before someone steps in and tries to mend the problems. With that said, the two people involved need to be willing to accept that change.
So you've done the counseling, you're all talked out. There is agreeably between the parties, nothing left. Its okay to walk away. It's okay to say, I deserve happiness. It's okay to end marriage. Like I said before, entering a partnership does not mean in anyway that you give up on your happiness. Please don't think I'm giving you permission here to toss out your partner because your 'not feeling it' I'm saying your going to hit a point where the talking isn't helping and there is no change a coming. It's okay at this point to say 'finished'
There I've said it and I'll say it again,
It's okay to end marriage (I'm including all relationships in this!)
I wouldn't recommend divorce to anyone. But what is the point of staying in relationship that just can't be fixed??
Dear Reader there will be tears, lots of them. Tears of frustration, tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of hurt, tears of relief and tears just for the sake of emotion. There will probably also be a mourning process. For the loss of a relationship, the loss of a partner and the loss of a piece of you. These are all normal and healthy things!
Please know that your not a failure here. You tried. You did the counseling. You broke down the walls and communicated. You put in the work. You did your best. It didn't work. Time to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Your going to have to be strong here. Not just for you, but for all parties involved.
Please don't think that you need to stay in a relationship because of the kids or because your mamma said. Don't stay because you think your a failure. Don't hang on because they are begging and pleading. Don't stick around because you think you have no other options.
If your done and you know in your heart that you are done. Its okay (as long as you put in the work!!!) to pack your bags and head out.
Who knows maybe after a break, love will come walking in your door again. Or maybe your partner will recognize the loss and try harder. Maybe you'll recognize the loss and try harder.
Your not a failure Dear Reader. This is just another chapter and you will come out stronger. You will see what you will and will not accept in a partner. You will recognize when your fire is being smothered. You will appreciate true and real love. All wonderful and awesome things.
Marriage IS hard work and you ARE worthy of a good partner. But if the hard work isn't paying off and your partner isn't giving you joy and happiness. It's okay to choose YOU in the end.
Tuesday, 14 January 2014
Marriage Mondays
A Partner Worth the Fight
Well Dear Reader last week we talked about the hard part. Now lets talk about what makes it worth it. Your Partner.
Yes Dear Reader, your partner. You are putting 110% into this, you're going to make sure that your 'other half' is worth it. I'm saying that in the nicest, most loving way.
First lets talk about you. You my loves are worth all the riches in the world. You are worth more then gold and jewels. You are worth the sun and the moon and all the planets. You should love yourself enough to see the value in you. You are special, you are awesome. You're fantastic and wonderful. You are beautiful, inside and out. Dear Readers there is no one as great as you! You need to make sure that in a partnership you see that YOU are worth it first. You are worth it. You are worthy of happiness and joy. You deserve to laugh and smile. You deserve a partner that loves you for you. You deserve a partner who will treat you with respect and love. You are worthy of a partner that loves and adores you like no royalty has ever been. Do you see that?
When you 'signed' on for this; there was no hidden agreement that stated:
I _____________ agree to give up all my happiness and joy for the sake of a relationship with ______________.
You didn't do that, and nor should you!
I'm not saying your partner has to be perfect. I'm saying that they have to be worth it. Just as your worth it!
There will come a time in your relationship that you will question why you are there. It happens! This is normal! This is when one special and magic relationship ingredient comes to play. Communication. You have the right to tell your partner when you are not happy. You have the right to tell them that this isn't working You partner has choices here. They can say 'fuck you, I'm perfect now toughen up', They can say 'wow, I'm sorry you feel this way what can we do' or They can say 'I guess we better get a divorce'. A worthy partner best be saying the middle! I know its hard to have tough conversations. I hate to tell you, that life is full of them and your going to have to get used to it! Remember your worthy of happiness! If your partner agrees to help, GREAT! This is a wonderful thing! Now if it gets to the point where you've left it too long, please don't be proud. Seek outside help. If your partner is worthy of this, then do it! Don't give up on a relationship because you don't want to see a marriage counsellor!
If your partner does not see the value in your happiness and joy; then I'm afraid to say they aren't worth it.
Your partner will want to be your partner. They will want to make this work. They will want to see you happy! Honest.
If your partner agrees to change then goes back to their old ways and even after a million therapy sessions. I'm afraid your going to have to make some more tough decisions. Are they worth the pain and heart ache?
If your partner is a Bum. A right old Bum. They have little care for the world around them let alone you. This is not worthy of you! You and your paper bag, do not need Prince Ronald! They are a bum and will always be a bum!
What I'm trying to get at here Dear Reader is that you are worthy of a partner. An equal. A Yin to your Yang. You are worthy of it all. You don't need to settle or give up your life and happiness for someone who will never be worthy of you. A tiger will always have strips there is no amount of therapy, pleading or communication that will change them to spots.
I've been very lucky. I have a partner worthy of a thousand fights. My second in Command is worth it all. We have been very close to saying that's it! Our lives have changed us and remolded us. The years haven't always been kind or good. But we are equals who are willing and feel the other worthy of it all. That my loves is what partnership is all about.
Who you are today, is not the person you were when you first started your relationship. That's ok! Your ideas and views on the world will change, and that's ok! Your opinions will change, your life will change, your cities will change, your house will change, your outlook on life will change. All ok! IF your partner is worth it, it will be okay. You see as your changing, so are they. As your growing and evolving, so are they. It's important to have a worthy partner, because none of the change will matter. They will WANT to make it work. They will adapt, just as your adapting! It will work because you two, will make it work. All part of the 110% your putting in!
You see a worthy partner, makes the work WORTH IT!
PLEASE NOTE: your partner is abusive. Please don't take this. Not for the sake of partnership, marriage, your kids (if you have any), family, your dog or any other Tom, Dick or Harry. Please, your worth so much more. This is a very very touchy subject, one of which I'm not really willing to dive into on my wee blog. Please seek help. There are many organizations out there, for men and women. You do not deserve it and are worthy of more. There is nothing wrong with you. Seek help and leave. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. Just LEAVE. Also remember abuse comes in many forms. Verbal and physical. YOU ARE WORTHY OF MORE THEN THAT SHIT!
So you love yourself enough to recognize a partner worthy of the hard work. What happens if they aren't worth it? What happens if its not getting better? What happens if they aren't a willing participant in the effort your putting in??
Staying tuned for the next Marriage Monday!
Well Dear Reader last week we talked about the hard part. Now lets talk about what makes it worth it. Your Partner.
Yes Dear Reader, your partner. You are putting 110% into this, you're going to make sure that your 'other half' is worth it. I'm saying that in the nicest, most loving way.
First lets talk about you. You my loves are worth all the riches in the world. You are worth more then gold and jewels. You are worth the sun and the moon and all the planets. You should love yourself enough to see the value in you. You are special, you are awesome. You're fantastic and wonderful. You are beautiful, inside and out. Dear Readers there is no one as great as you! You need to make sure that in a partnership you see that YOU are worth it first. You are worth it. You are worthy of happiness and joy. You deserve to laugh and smile. You deserve a partner that loves you for you. You deserve a partner who will treat you with respect and love. You are worthy of a partner that loves and adores you like no royalty has ever been. Do you see that?
When you 'signed' on for this; there was no hidden agreement that stated:
I _____________ agree to give up all my happiness and joy for the sake of a relationship with ______________.
You didn't do that, and nor should you!
I'm not saying your partner has to be perfect. I'm saying that they have to be worth it. Just as your worth it!
There will come a time in your relationship that you will question why you are there. It happens! This is normal! This is when one special and magic relationship ingredient comes to play. Communication. You have the right to tell your partner when you are not happy. You have the right to tell them that this isn't working You partner has choices here. They can say 'fuck you, I'm perfect now toughen up', They can say 'wow, I'm sorry you feel this way what can we do' or They can say 'I guess we better get a divorce'. A worthy partner best be saying the middle! I know its hard to have tough conversations. I hate to tell you, that life is full of them and your going to have to get used to it! Remember your worthy of happiness! If your partner agrees to help, GREAT! This is a wonderful thing! Now if it gets to the point where you've left it too long, please don't be proud. Seek outside help. If your partner is worthy of this, then do it! Don't give up on a relationship because you don't want to see a marriage counsellor!
If your partner does not see the value in your happiness and joy; then I'm afraid to say they aren't worth it.
Your partner will want to be your partner. They will want to make this work. They will want to see you happy! Honest.
If your partner agrees to change then goes back to their old ways and even after a million therapy sessions. I'm afraid your going to have to make some more tough decisions. Are they worth the pain and heart ache?
If your partner is a Bum. A right old Bum. They have little care for the world around them let alone you. This is not worthy of you! You and your paper bag, do not need Prince Ronald! They are a bum and will always be a bum!
What I'm trying to get at here Dear Reader is that you are worthy of a partner. An equal. A Yin to your Yang. You are worthy of it all. You don't need to settle or give up your life and happiness for someone who will never be worthy of you. A tiger will always have strips there is no amount of therapy, pleading or communication that will change them to spots.
I've been very lucky. I have a partner worthy of a thousand fights. My second in Command is worth it all. We have been very close to saying that's it! Our lives have changed us and remolded us. The years haven't always been kind or good. But we are equals who are willing and feel the other worthy of it all. That my loves is what partnership is all about.
Who you are today, is not the person you were when you first started your relationship. That's ok! Your ideas and views on the world will change, and that's ok! Your opinions will change, your life will change, your cities will change, your house will change, your outlook on life will change. All ok! IF your partner is worth it, it will be okay. You see as your changing, so are they. As your growing and evolving, so are they. It's important to have a worthy partner, because none of the change will matter. They will WANT to make it work. They will adapt, just as your adapting! It will work because you two, will make it work. All part of the 110% your putting in!
You see a worthy partner, makes the work WORTH IT!
PLEASE NOTE: your partner is abusive. Please don't take this. Not for the sake of partnership, marriage, your kids (if you have any), family, your dog or any other Tom, Dick or Harry. Please, your worth so much more. This is a very very touchy subject, one of which I'm not really willing to dive into on my wee blog. Please seek help. There are many organizations out there, for men and women. You do not deserve it and are worthy of more. There is nothing wrong with you. Seek help and leave. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. Just LEAVE. Also remember abuse comes in many forms. Verbal and physical. YOU ARE WORTHY OF MORE THEN THAT SHIT!
So you love yourself enough to recognize a partner worthy of the hard work. What happens if they aren't worth it? What happens if its not getting better? What happens if they aren't a willing participant in the effort your putting in??
Staying tuned for the next Marriage Monday!
Saturday, 4 January 2014
Marriage Mondays
No One Said this would be easy
Hello Dear Reader,
I know it's not Monday, but this is the game plan. A blog on Mondays regarding marriage. I'm no expert, but with three Dads, two Father In Laws and a Husband, I would say I'm pretty knowledgeable!
You my Dear Reader, keep asking about my poor wee blog. I've ignored it so. Haven't I?? A year since my last promise online to start the fire back into this engine. A whole year. Well here I am a bigger, stronger, (busier) me...but I'm here and ready to go. With all your requests and renewed fire in my belly, I'm here!
So marriage Mondays. Seems catchy, yes?? on with the show!
After 8 days alone with my Hubby. I'm compelled to tell you in the thick of partnership, that this is not easy! I'm not sure where I got it into my head that this would be easy. Or at least a fun time. It's not (well some parts are fun, more on that later). This is damn hard work. This is a 110% effort everyday, all day. This my friends is no joke.
I'm very blessed with a partner who gets me completely in this life. When I'm being my crabbiest crab, he lovingly finds me a new shell in which I may seek shelter in. I'm a fun gal, but Lord do I try that mans patience! After 10 years of marriage, I want to push you all to continue working and fighting.
Everyday you are going to have to work at this partnership. Everyday you are going to have to push yourself to give it all you got. When you got married (or started your partnership), various thoughts of marriage probably entered your head. Maybe that this would be lovely and fun. A right good game of give and take...or maybe just give...or maybe just take. Maybe you thought that you would turn into the cleavers. He'd be June of course. Maybe you thought that it would be a natural partnership between to people, who had love as a common thread.
I'm telling you all right now, that this is the real shit. There are really REALLY ugly parts. Real nasty stinky scenes. Parts of horrible chapters that you may just want to close the book on. This partnership will test every being of your fibre as a person. This union between two people is going to test your will as a person.
I'm telling you Dear Reader that this is hard. Real hard. There are some mornings you will wake up to that face and go 'Dear God, they're still here'. There are days when your partner will come home and say 'What's for dinner' and you will want to respond 'Make your own God Damn Fucking Dinner'. There are weeks when you will go without sex because the very thought of that good for nothing spouse will make you want to vomit. There are fights that will bring you to your knees. There are days when the words that come out of your partners mouth will feel like fire on your soul. I promise you all, your partner at some point will become the enemy and you will want to crush and pee on every parade they have. Oh Dear Reader I hate to say this, but there may come times when all you have left is tears and prayers. This is HARD.
You never imagined that you would have to give so much of your self up. You could never think that a person could test your very will to get on with a day. So much give and take. Everyone tells you that marriage is a 50/50 partnership between two people...WRONG!!! Marriage is an everyday work it at 100% all day thing. 100% of you will have to work on this. Could you imagine only giving 50% of yourself in marriage????? That's like ordering a Big Mac combo and only getting the fries. Or going to a mechanic to fix your brakes and he only does one. Going on a holiday and end up only making it to the car with your bags packed.
Dear Reader, a partnership between two people is going to require you to dig deep within you. You will have so many hard and uncomfortable conversations, you will begin to feel like Dr. Phil. You are going to require strength; not only for you, but for your partner. When your feeling like crabby crab and want to hide in your shell, you may have to dig deeper. You may have to big the bigger person in a fight and say 'your right'. You may often have to say 'I'm sorry'
Partnership, my Dears is hard. There is so much work to make this thing work, it's no wonder that all these marriages are falling apart. God this is HARD. Do you get it? This is HARD. Hubs and I are very lucky. When I've wanted to pack it in. When I have fallen, and cried. When I was weak and just didn't feel like I could do this another moment. My partner picked me up. When I moaned and complained to you all, that I wasn't sure I had anything left. My partner reminded me that we were fighting the same fight.
Dear Readers, something else. Oh Lord. If you think partnership is hard. Toss in the world, because God knows that the world doesn't really want you to succeed. Its always tossing you things like; moving, new countries, new jobs, illness, money (or no money), in laws, out laws, death, and everything in between. Then may come kids. Huney, that alone can drive a wedge in your partnership faster then you could fart!
Am I making sense? This is bloody HARD work! But my loves. It's hard work that pays off in riches you could only imagine. It pays off in ways that you could only dream. To know you always, always have someone in your corner. Just as you are in theirs. To have someone love you for all your qualities, good and bad. To have a partner who will make you an omelette at the buffet because your brain is totally unable to comprehend; eggs, ham, cheese and veg. To know love. Real love. Love that holds all the hard stuff together. Love that makes you laugh. Love that makes you smile. Love that endures what the world is tossing at you. Love that makes having kids that much easier. Love that is worth it all. Worth every damn day of hard work. Worth every tear, every prayer, every moment that brought you and your world crashing down. It will be worth it. Promise. It WILL be WORTH it!!
Now before I wrap up Dear Reader. I want to say this wee disclaimer. You need a partner who IS worth it. If you are in a partnership where you are the 100% and they just aren't. If you are with someone who makes you cry more then smile. If your partner after years, is not holding up their end of this partnership. Then that is another post. Another Monday marriage perhaps?
I wish you all years of happy and hard memories. It will be all worth it. Promise
xx
Hello Dear Reader,
I know it's not Monday, but this is the game plan. A blog on Mondays regarding marriage. I'm no expert, but with three Dads, two Father In Laws and a Husband, I would say I'm pretty knowledgeable!
You my Dear Reader, keep asking about my poor wee blog. I've ignored it so. Haven't I?? A year since my last promise online to start the fire back into this engine. A whole year. Well here I am a bigger, stronger, (busier) me...but I'm here and ready to go. With all your requests and renewed fire in my belly, I'm here!
So marriage Mondays. Seems catchy, yes?? on with the show!
After 8 days alone with my Hubby. I'm compelled to tell you in the thick of partnership, that this is not easy! I'm not sure where I got it into my head that this would be easy. Or at least a fun time. It's not (well some parts are fun, more on that later). This is damn hard work. This is a 110% effort everyday, all day. This my friends is no joke.
I'm very blessed with a partner who gets me completely in this life. When I'm being my crabbiest crab, he lovingly finds me a new shell in which I may seek shelter in. I'm a fun gal, but Lord do I try that mans patience! After 10 years of marriage, I want to push you all to continue working and fighting.
Everyday you are going to have to work at this partnership. Everyday you are going to have to push yourself to give it all you got. When you got married (or started your partnership), various thoughts of marriage probably entered your head. Maybe that this would be lovely and fun. A right good game of give and take...or maybe just give...or maybe just take. Maybe you thought that you would turn into the cleavers. He'd be June of course. Maybe you thought that it would be a natural partnership between to people, who had love as a common thread.
I'm telling you all right now, that this is the real shit. There are really REALLY ugly parts. Real nasty stinky scenes. Parts of horrible chapters that you may just want to close the book on. This partnership will test every being of your fibre as a person. This union between two people is going to test your will as a person.
I'm telling you Dear Reader that this is hard. Real hard. There are some mornings you will wake up to that face and go 'Dear God, they're still here'. There are days when your partner will come home and say 'What's for dinner' and you will want to respond 'Make your own God Damn Fucking Dinner'. There are weeks when you will go without sex because the very thought of that good for nothing spouse will make you want to vomit. There are fights that will bring you to your knees. There are days when the words that come out of your partners mouth will feel like fire on your soul. I promise you all, your partner at some point will become the enemy and you will want to crush and pee on every parade they have. Oh Dear Reader I hate to say this, but there may come times when all you have left is tears and prayers. This is HARD.
You never imagined that you would have to give so much of your self up. You could never think that a person could test your very will to get on with a day. So much give and take. Everyone tells you that marriage is a 50/50 partnership between two people...WRONG!!! Marriage is an everyday work it at 100% all day thing. 100% of you will have to work on this. Could you imagine only giving 50% of yourself in marriage????? That's like ordering a Big Mac combo and only getting the fries. Or going to a mechanic to fix your brakes and he only does one. Going on a holiday and end up only making it to the car with your bags packed.
Dear Reader, a partnership between two people is going to require you to dig deep within you. You will have so many hard and uncomfortable conversations, you will begin to feel like Dr. Phil. You are going to require strength; not only for you, but for your partner. When your feeling like crabby crab and want to hide in your shell, you may have to dig deeper. You may have to big the bigger person in a fight and say 'your right'. You may often have to say 'I'm sorry'
Partnership, my Dears is hard. There is so much work to make this thing work, it's no wonder that all these marriages are falling apart. God this is HARD. Do you get it? This is HARD. Hubs and I are very lucky. When I've wanted to pack it in. When I have fallen, and cried. When I was weak and just didn't feel like I could do this another moment. My partner picked me up. When I moaned and complained to you all, that I wasn't sure I had anything left. My partner reminded me that we were fighting the same fight.
Dear Readers, something else. Oh Lord. If you think partnership is hard. Toss in the world, because God knows that the world doesn't really want you to succeed. Its always tossing you things like; moving, new countries, new jobs, illness, money (or no money), in laws, out laws, death, and everything in between. Then may come kids. Huney, that alone can drive a wedge in your partnership faster then you could fart!
Am I making sense? This is bloody HARD work! But my loves. It's hard work that pays off in riches you could only imagine. It pays off in ways that you could only dream. To know you always, always have someone in your corner. Just as you are in theirs. To have someone love you for all your qualities, good and bad. To have a partner who will make you an omelette at the buffet because your brain is totally unable to comprehend; eggs, ham, cheese and veg. To know love. Real love. Love that holds all the hard stuff together. Love that makes you laugh. Love that makes you smile. Love that endures what the world is tossing at you. Love that makes having kids that much easier. Love that is worth it all. Worth every damn day of hard work. Worth every tear, every prayer, every moment that brought you and your world crashing down. It will be worth it. Promise. It WILL be WORTH it!!
Now before I wrap up Dear Reader. I want to say this wee disclaimer. You need a partner who IS worth it. If you are in a partnership where you are the 100% and they just aren't. If you are with someone who makes you cry more then smile. If your partner after years, is not holding up their end of this partnership. Then that is another post. Another Monday marriage perhaps?
I wish you all years of happy and hard memories. It will be all worth it. Promise
xx
Sunday, 13 January 2013
New year! New post...
Happy new year everyone!
I have temporary use of a computer for a while, so I thought I had better get blogging! It's been so long since I have put thoughts topaper blog. I was getting a few requests and a few 'where did you go's'. Here I am, and the length of stay will depend entirely on iPad, and when it will blow up!
Lately I have had some great conversations with friends about God. There I said it, I was told to never bring up religion..but I did and I will do it again!
The big G, religion, spirituality. I've been talking about it.
I have a great relationship with God, I really do. I'm a very spiritual person and the very sight of something Godesk can make me cry. With that said, I don't have a religion. I don't take Jesus Christ as my saviour, I don't go to church, I don't pray before meals, I don't sing hymns and I don't study the bible. Ok, go ahead gasp. Say a little prayer for my condemned soul.
Now God and me, we go waaaaay back. Over 32 years now. I love churches, every time I go in one I sit and say a bit of prayer, light a candle for the ones I love. I love nature and hug trees and thank the earth often for holding me and human kind in her arms. When I cook a meal, I often do it with intention. Sometimes when things feel off I will light a candle and asks for the negative energy to be taken with the flames. I love Buddhas...love them! I will randomly open the bible and see what God has to say today. I meditate, and take in gods presence. I read about Judaism (that's the organized religion that calls to me the most). Sometimes I just sit and talk to God.
I really feel some days that organized religion has taken the wind out of my spiritual sails. I'm not saying that organized religion is wrong. I'm happy for those who go to church every Sunday and praise The Lord Jesus Christ. I'm in awe of the devotion and traditions that people have with their religion. I think it's great if you grow out your hair because you feel that will make you closer to God. I will never ever knock anyones ways of talking to God, but I don't need a middle man.
I know some people who feel like its not okay to have a relationship with God. That you have to have religion. Why? Why do I need organized religion? It's just a way that God talks to us. Really. If I'm doing okay talking to God and we're living our lives in parallel, why do I need anything more?
I'm really tired of this world falling apart over religion. I really truly am. There is one God. Only one. I don't for a moment believe that there is a band of x-men Gods, that sit around fighting all day deciding who is the best. So why are we? Who really cares if bob reads the bible, sue reads the Torah, Mohammad reads the quran and I talk to the wind. Really we are all talking to God. The God, the only one. Just like I call santa, Santa. Someone might call him Father Christmas, or maybe Pere noel. Aren't we talking about the same thing?? Chips, French fries...same thing!
I really in my heart believe that organized religion is just Gods way of talking to you. We all do it different. Email, snail mail, Skype. We are all going to communicate differently. You need to find your broadband to God. He, She, it...it's out there. Who ever it is, is waiting.
Are you happy in your organized religion? Do you try to have a more direct relationship with God? How does God talk to you? Have you lost God (maybe you need a, if found poster?)
What's your take on all this fighting? Could you imagine the wars that would erupt if all the Canadian expats started fighting with the Brits over 'x a ma' or ' x zee ma'?? Silly yes?
'I think it pisses God off if you walk by the colour purple in the field somewhere and don't notice'
I have temporary use of a computer for a while, so I thought I had better get blogging! It's been so long since I have put thoughts to
Lately I have had some great conversations with friends about God. There I said it, I was told to never bring up religion..but I did and I will do it again!
The big G, religion, spirituality. I've been talking about it.
I have a great relationship with God, I really do. I'm a very spiritual person and the very sight of something Godesk can make me cry. With that said, I don't have a religion. I don't take Jesus Christ as my saviour, I don't go to church, I don't pray before meals, I don't sing hymns and I don't study the bible. Ok, go ahead gasp. Say a little prayer for my condemned soul.
Now God and me, we go waaaaay back. Over 32 years now. I love churches, every time I go in one I sit and say a bit of prayer, light a candle for the ones I love. I love nature and hug trees and thank the earth often for holding me and human kind in her arms. When I cook a meal, I often do it with intention. Sometimes when things feel off I will light a candle and asks for the negative energy to be taken with the flames. I love Buddhas...love them! I will randomly open the bible and see what God has to say today. I meditate, and take in gods presence. I read about Judaism (that's the organized religion that calls to me the most). Sometimes I just sit and talk to God.
I really feel some days that organized religion has taken the wind out of my spiritual sails. I'm not saying that organized religion is wrong. I'm happy for those who go to church every Sunday and praise The Lord Jesus Christ. I'm in awe of the devotion and traditions that people have with their religion. I think it's great if you grow out your hair because you feel that will make you closer to God. I will never ever knock anyones ways of talking to God, but I don't need a middle man.
I know some people who feel like its not okay to have a relationship with God. That you have to have religion. Why? Why do I need organized religion? It's just a way that God talks to us. Really. If I'm doing okay talking to God and we're living our lives in parallel, why do I need anything more?
I'm really tired of this world falling apart over religion. I really truly am. There is one God. Only one. I don't for a moment believe that there is a band of x-men Gods, that sit around fighting all day deciding who is the best. So why are we? Who really cares if bob reads the bible, sue reads the Torah, Mohammad reads the quran and I talk to the wind. Really we are all talking to God. The God, the only one. Just like I call santa, Santa. Someone might call him Father Christmas, or maybe Pere noel. Aren't we talking about the same thing?? Chips, French fries...same thing!
I really in my heart believe that organized religion is just Gods way of talking to you. We all do it different. Email, snail mail, Skype. We are all going to communicate differently. You need to find your broadband to God. He, She, it...it's out there. Who ever it is, is waiting.
Are you happy in your organized religion? Do you try to have a more direct relationship with God? How does God talk to you? Have you lost God (maybe you need a, if found poster?)
What's your take on all this fighting? Could you imagine the wars that would erupt if all the Canadian expats started fighting with the Brits over 'x a ma' or ' x zee ma'?? Silly yes?
'I think it pisses God off if you walk by the colour purple in the field somewhere and don't notice'
Thursday, 25 October 2012
Turning peanuts to peanut butter
As most of you know I blew up my computer a few months back and have not been able to post. I do have blogger app on my phone, but with a 500 word limit-and let's face it, a girl who can talk. I haven't been around.
I know you miss me, I know y'all do! This isn't the inflation of my big head, these are from fan requests!
So any way, here crazy mum is. Here I am. Big words aren't they? Do you ever sit and wonder about your life and wonder the what ifs?? Have you ever squashed them with, I'm right here..right now. Think about that for a moment. It doesn't matter which road you took to get here. It doesn't matter about the screaming kids or the football on t.v. It doesn't matter what song you sung to dance. Your here now.
I have to be honest with you all I'm struggling a bit at the moment. I have so nicely returned from a life break. You know the kind where you led another life for a week; the life you used to have before crazy set in. Or maybe the life you used to have before being an adult punched you in the face.
My life break was a week with my mummy, who so nicely told me she would probably need therapy after a week with me! A week of wearing clean clothes and makeup, a week of dinner and lunches, a week of hot coffee and hot dinners. A week of me without the definition of mother, mummy, madre, oh hail big chief. Isn't it funny how we start living lives based on definition? When did we start doing that?
I can't go out after work because I'm a manager at a top 100 company, I need to go to bed by 8. I can't answer the phone because I work in a call centre and take 200 calls a day. I can't work in the garden because I'm a hand model and my nails will get dirty. I can't eat solids because I'm a Victoria secrets angel. Maybe theses aren't definitions but job hazards? I can't wear nice clothes because my kids use me for a face cleaner. I can't wear heels because who can chase three children running in all directions in stilettos? I can't eat dinner hot, because we'll...have you met my kids?
I'm struggling right now with the definition. Not that I felt I had a better one before, but this is different. How do you move past it. What happens if you accept the definition and then 20 years past, and you can't move on to another definition? I'm calling this making peanut butter out of peanuts. I'm talking about taking the definition in which we live and making it our lives. Owning it. Redefining it. Take power and control over that gosh darn word in which we run our lives and kicking it to the next level.
Are you feeling lost in translation? Stuck in definition? How will you make peanut butter out of your peanuts??
I know you miss me, I know y'all do! This isn't the inflation of my big head, these are from fan requests!
So any way, here crazy mum is. Here I am. Big words aren't they? Do you ever sit and wonder about your life and wonder the what ifs?? Have you ever squashed them with, I'm right here..right now. Think about that for a moment. It doesn't matter which road you took to get here. It doesn't matter about the screaming kids or the football on t.v. It doesn't matter what song you sung to dance. Your here now.
I have to be honest with you all I'm struggling a bit at the moment. I have so nicely returned from a life break. You know the kind where you led another life for a week; the life you used to have before crazy set in. Or maybe the life you used to have before being an adult punched you in the face.
My life break was a week with my mummy, who so nicely told me she would probably need therapy after a week with me! A week of wearing clean clothes and makeup, a week of dinner and lunches, a week of hot coffee and hot dinners. A week of me without the definition of mother, mummy, madre, oh hail big chief. Isn't it funny how we start living lives based on definition? When did we start doing that?
I can't go out after work because I'm a manager at a top 100 company, I need to go to bed by 8. I can't answer the phone because I work in a call centre and take 200 calls a day. I can't work in the garden because I'm a hand model and my nails will get dirty. I can't eat solids because I'm a Victoria secrets angel. Maybe theses aren't definitions but job hazards? I can't wear nice clothes because my kids use me for a face cleaner. I can't wear heels because who can chase three children running in all directions in stilettos? I can't eat dinner hot, because we'll...have you met my kids?
I'm struggling right now with the definition. Not that I felt I had a better one before, but this is different. How do you move past it. What happens if you accept the definition and then 20 years past, and you can't move on to another definition? I'm calling this making peanut butter out of peanuts. I'm talking about taking the definition in which we live and making it our lives. Owning it. Redefining it. Take power and control over that gosh darn word in which we run our lives and kicking it to the next level.
Are you feeling lost in translation? Stuck in definition? How will you make peanut butter out of your peanuts??
Tuesday, 2 October 2012
I can do this on a mobile???
Honestly I am not down with the tec world. I had no idea I could post via my mobile! DUH! anyway having no computer has left my blog dry. Now i can do this any where, the crazyness is back! Stay tuned my loves! xxx
Monday, 27 February 2012
Be The Best Parent YOU Can Be!
When I found out that I was pregnant with the Princess I became an obsessed parent to be. Not obsessed in terms of what I should eat and how I should treat my body at the time. I became obsessed with the type of parent I SHOULD be. I started buying things for this should be parent. I read books on this should be parent. I came up with a plan for this should be parent. When the princess was born and I brought her home from the hospital, reality hit me and my should be parent ideas.
Want to see some of my should be parent ideas? Ready?
I would come home from the hospital and carry my baby in a carrier when ever she needed. I would cloth diaper and my baby would always be clean. When and if my baby cried I would know what to do and be able to sooth her easily. When I had to clean the house-because the laundry would always be done and the baking would always be available and homemade food would always be cooking! my baby would happily play on the floor. As a top Mother I would know what my baby wanted and easily be able to cater to her needs. My baby and I would go for walks often and I would show her the world. I would be on the top of my game and the world would know it!
Do you want to know reality?
My baby came home from the hospital and cried and pooped and hollered...a lot! She hated cloth diapers and would scream her self blue when I put one on. She was a messy messy baby and I had to change her clothes often. The house never got fully cleaned and I didn't have the brain power to cook a decent meal. Hubby worked from home and I had to keep the baby quiet, the baby who hated toys. I never knew what my baby wanted and she would often scream when all her needs were met. I hated walking-although she loved to shop! I had postpartum depression and I hated my baby. I begged for 6 months for my hubby to return her. This is not what I signed up for. No one told me how this would really go. No one
I really wish at that time I would of been able to let go of my ideal should be parent and except the idea of being the best parent I could be. I think this is a reality for most parents today. We get ideas and expectations in our head of how things should go. Of how we want things to go. When they don't we have a hard time excepting the real picture. Although I am three children in, I still have this problem. Less severe but it still creeps up.
There is no right or wrong answers and there is no manual. We weren't provided with a book on our child. Now; don't get me wrong, there are tons of parenting books out there...tons! Have you found the one on your child yet? Me either.
I want you dear reader, to start adopting the mantra 'I am the best parent I can be'. Have you said it? When the day isn't going to plan, I want you to stop for a minute, breath...put yourself in time out if you have to (I love time out by the way!) and repeat 'I am the best parent I can be'
Somedays my laundry doesn't get touched, the house is a total tip, the kids are wearing clothes from two days ago, the dog is filthy from God knows what, I have a million things on my to do list, and nothing is going to plan. These are the days when I really have to say 'I'm doing the best I can' 'I am the best parent I can be'. What ever you are doing, it's okay. How ever you are doing it, is perfect! If you children smile and laugh, if they run and scream, if they are naughty and nice, if they are sugar and spice, if they are silly and mischievous, if they plot and plan, if they are stinky and smelly, if they are well groomed and proper, and if they are alive and your alive...then you are the best parent you can be.
The rest doesn't matter. Honest. It doesn't matter.
I want you to give yourself permission to take in what comes, how it comes. The plan might not always work out how you want but we'll get through this journey what ever the path. It might take us 26 steps to get from A to Z and it might only take us 12. It doesn't matter. Your doing the best you can right now!
Even if your sitting here at the computer while your child is screaming in the next room (or maybe right at your feet!) that's okay (unless your playing angry birds while your child is bleeding to death in front of you! That's not cool and you need to call for help ASAP!) Maybe you've tossed the chores out for the day, in order to play...that's cool too! What ever it is, how ever you are doing it. Your doing it the best way for you.
It may not work for June Cleaver, and it may not work for Peggy Bundy..but if it works for you then your ahead of the game.
Acceptance is the key to parenting. Just breath and accept. Your just going to make everyone and you miserable if you try otherwise.
Please give yourself permission to toss out the should be parent and embrace the you parent. Because it's perfect. Honest
xo
Want to see some of my should be parent ideas? Ready?
I would come home from the hospital and carry my baby in a carrier when ever she needed. I would cloth diaper and my baby would always be clean. When and if my baby cried I would know what to do and be able to sooth her easily. When I had to clean the house-because the laundry would always be done and the baking would always be available and homemade food would always be cooking! my baby would happily play on the floor. As a top Mother I would know what my baby wanted and easily be able to cater to her needs. My baby and I would go for walks often and I would show her the world. I would be on the top of my game and the world would know it!
Do you want to know reality?
My baby came home from the hospital and cried and pooped and hollered...a lot! She hated cloth diapers and would scream her self blue when I put one on. She was a messy messy baby and I had to change her clothes often. The house never got fully cleaned and I didn't have the brain power to cook a decent meal. Hubby worked from home and I had to keep the baby quiet, the baby who hated toys. I never knew what my baby wanted and she would often scream when all her needs were met. I hated walking-although she loved to shop! I had postpartum depression and I hated my baby. I begged for 6 months for my hubby to return her. This is not what I signed up for. No one told me how this would really go. No one
I really wish at that time I would of been able to let go of my ideal should be parent and except the idea of being the best parent I could be. I think this is a reality for most parents today. We get ideas and expectations in our head of how things should go. Of how we want things to go. When they don't we have a hard time excepting the real picture. Although I am three children in, I still have this problem. Less severe but it still creeps up.
There is no right or wrong answers and there is no manual. We weren't provided with a book on our child. Now; don't get me wrong, there are tons of parenting books out there...tons! Have you found the one on your child yet? Me either.
I want you dear reader, to start adopting the mantra 'I am the best parent I can be'. Have you said it? When the day isn't going to plan, I want you to stop for a minute, breath...put yourself in time out if you have to (I love time out by the way!) and repeat 'I am the best parent I can be'
Somedays my laundry doesn't get touched, the house is a total tip, the kids are wearing clothes from two days ago, the dog is filthy from God knows what, I have a million things on my to do list, and nothing is going to plan. These are the days when I really have to say 'I'm doing the best I can' 'I am the best parent I can be'. What ever you are doing, it's okay. How ever you are doing it, is perfect! If you children smile and laugh, if they run and scream, if they are naughty and nice, if they are sugar and spice, if they are silly and mischievous, if they plot and plan, if they are stinky and smelly, if they are well groomed and proper, and if they are alive and your alive...then you are the best parent you can be.
The rest doesn't matter. Honest. It doesn't matter.
I want you to give yourself permission to take in what comes, how it comes. The plan might not always work out how you want but we'll get through this journey what ever the path. It might take us 26 steps to get from A to Z and it might only take us 12. It doesn't matter. Your doing the best you can right now!
Even if your sitting here at the computer while your child is screaming in the next room (or maybe right at your feet!) that's okay (unless your playing angry birds while your child is bleeding to death in front of you! That's not cool and you need to call for help ASAP!) Maybe you've tossed the chores out for the day, in order to play...that's cool too! What ever it is, how ever you are doing it. Your doing it the best way for you.
It may not work for June Cleaver, and it may not work for Peggy Bundy..but if it works for you then your ahead of the game.
Acceptance is the key to parenting. Just breath and accept. Your just going to make everyone and you miserable if you try otherwise.
Please give yourself permission to toss out the should be parent and embrace the you parent. Because it's perfect. Honest
xo
Monday, 13 February 2012
R.I.P Whitney
Last night on our way back home from London, hubby and I were having a conversation about the passing of Whitney Houston. I hate rehashing this over and over again. I really do. However I feel the need to blog about this, because I think some people out there don't get it. My hubby didn't get it. His brain processed it like this 'the woman was on drugs, drugs kill. Sooner or later it was going to happen'
But that's not what this is all about. This is not why people are saddened and mourning. Not in the least. The people are mourning the loss of a great figure because of emotion. *Please note-drugs kill. If you are on drugs, chances are someday they are going to catch up with you*
Songs can bring up so many memories and emotions. You know where you were, a smell, the food you might have been eating, maybe it was warm/cold, the people you were with...a song can bring that all up. My mum always says 'the song remembers when'. Isn't that the truth?
So you see hubby, we're not mourning the loss of a woman-although it is a big loss. We are mourning the loss of something that was, or something that could of been. We'll never hear another Whitney Houston song on the radio. We'll never see her in concert. We'll never hear about the battles she is fighting. Sometimes even though we never meet, see or talk to a person. There is a comfort in their presence. You know that they are going to be there. You know that you'll hear their voice on the radio at some point and maybe you'll see them in concert. There is a comfort in that. In the knowing that they will always be there for you.
What about this emotion? Listen to Whitney sing I will always love you. Close your eyes, really soak in the voice, the lyrics and wait for it. Wait for the memories to come back. Were you kissing someone you love? Were you watching someone walk away? Did you break up with someone? Was it your first boy/girl dance?
When we loose someone famous, we remember. We remember the emotions and the feeling associated with their music or their films.
We also see them as invincible. They have money, lots of money. They can afford all the best of everything. Can't they? When we loose them, they become human. We think about our own demons and the battles we fight on a daily basis. That could be us. Couldn't it? One day we might wake up and be unable to fight anymore. The rock bottom may arrive. To know that someone we perceive as strong, gives up...it's frightening.
So hubby when your brain is unable to comprehend how we are surprised. Remember the song remembers when. We remember when. We are human and are unable to hold back the feeling and emotions that are attached to songs and people. Whitney will always be a strong figure in our music history. To know that her journey is over and we'll no longer be taking it with her is sad. Just like Michael Jackson, just like Freddie Mercury, like Amy Winehouse, like Heath Ledger, like James Dean...it's the emotion, the feeling, the power, the time. It really strikes us right to the core. So may we continue to mourn for our emotions and remember when.
But that's not what this is all about. This is not why people are saddened and mourning. Not in the least. The people are mourning the loss of a great figure because of emotion. *Please note-drugs kill. If you are on drugs, chances are someday they are going to catch up with you*
Songs can bring up so many memories and emotions. You know where you were, a smell, the food you might have been eating, maybe it was warm/cold, the people you were with...a song can bring that all up. My mum always says 'the song remembers when'. Isn't that the truth?
So you see hubby, we're not mourning the loss of a woman-although it is a big loss. We are mourning the loss of something that was, or something that could of been. We'll never hear another Whitney Houston song on the radio. We'll never see her in concert. We'll never hear about the battles she is fighting. Sometimes even though we never meet, see or talk to a person. There is a comfort in their presence. You know that they are going to be there. You know that you'll hear their voice on the radio at some point and maybe you'll see them in concert. There is a comfort in that. In the knowing that they will always be there for you.
What about this emotion? Listen to Whitney sing I will always love you. Close your eyes, really soak in the voice, the lyrics and wait for it. Wait for the memories to come back. Were you kissing someone you love? Were you watching someone walk away? Did you break up with someone? Was it your first boy/girl dance?
When we loose someone famous, we remember. We remember the emotions and the feeling associated with their music or their films.
We also see them as invincible. They have money, lots of money. They can afford all the best of everything. Can't they? When we loose them, they become human. We think about our own demons and the battles we fight on a daily basis. That could be us. Couldn't it? One day we might wake up and be unable to fight anymore. The rock bottom may arrive. To know that someone we perceive as strong, gives up...it's frightening.
So hubby when your brain is unable to comprehend how we are surprised. Remember the song remembers when. We remember when. We are human and are unable to hold back the feeling and emotions that are attached to songs and people. Whitney will always be a strong figure in our music history. To know that her journey is over and we'll no longer be taking it with her is sad. Just like Michael Jackson, just like Freddie Mercury, like Amy Winehouse, like Heath Ledger, like James Dean...it's the emotion, the feeling, the power, the time. It really strikes us right to the core. So may we continue to mourn for our emotions and remember when.
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