Marriage Mondays

No One Said this would be easy

Hello Dear Reader,

I know it's not Monday, but this is the game plan. A blog on Mondays regarding marriage. I'm no expert, but with three Dads, two Father In Laws and a Husband, I would say I'm pretty knowledgeable!

You my Dear Reader, keep asking about my poor wee blog. I've ignored it so. Haven't I?? A year since my last promise online to start the fire back into this engine. A whole year. Well here I am a bigger, stronger, (busier) me...but I'm here and ready to go. With all your requests and renewed fire in my belly, I'm here!

So marriage Mondays. Seems catchy, yes?? on with the show!

After 8 days alone with my Hubby. I'm compelled to tell you in the thick of partnership, that this is not easy! I'm not sure where I got it into my head that this would be easy. Or at least a fun time. It's not (well some parts are fun, more on that later). This is damn hard work. This is a 110% effort everyday, all day. This my friends is no joke.

I'm very blessed with a partner who gets me completely in this life. When I'm being my crabbiest crab, he lovingly finds me a new shell in which I may seek shelter in.  I'm a fun gal, but Lord do I try that mans patience! After 10 years of marriage, I want to push you all to continue working and fighting.

Everyday you are going to have to work at this partnership. Everyday you are going to have to push yourself to give it all you got. When you got married (or started your partnership), various thoughts of marriage probably entered your head.  Maybe that this would be lovely and fun. A right good game of give and take...or maybe just give...or maybe just take. Maybe you thought that you would turn into the cleavers. He'd be June of course. Maybe you thought that it would be a natural partnership between to people, who had love as a common thread.

I'm telling you all right now, that this is the real shit. There are really REALLY ugly parts. Real nasty stinky scenes. Parts of horrible chapters that you may just want to close the book on. This partnership will test every being of your fibre as a person. This union between two people is going to test your will as a person.

I'm telling you Dear Reader that this is hard. Real hard. There are some mornings you will wake up to that face and go 'Dear God, they're still here'. There are days when your partner will come home and say 'What's for dinner' and you will want to respond 'Make your own God Damn Fucking Dinner'. There are weeks when you will go without sex because the very thought of that good for nothing spouse will make you want to vomit. There are fights that will bring you to your knees. There are days when the words that come out of your partners mouth will feel like fire on your soul. I promise you all, your partner at some point will become the enemy and you will want to crush and pee on every parade they have. Oh Dear Reader I hate to say this, but there may come times when all you have left is tears and prayers. This is HARD.

You never imagined that you would have to give so much of your self up. You could never think that a person could test your very will to get on with a day. So much give and take. Everyone tells you that marriage is a 50/50 partnership between two people...WRONG!!! Marriage is an everyday work it at 100% all day thing. 100% of you will have to work on this. Could you imagine only giving 50% of yourself in marriage????? That's like ordering a Big Mac combo and only getting the fries. Or going to a mechanic to fix your brakes and he only does one. Going on a holiday and end up only making it to the car with your bags packed.

Dear Reader, a partnership between two people is going to require you to dig deep within you. You will have so many hard and uncomfortable conversations, you will begin to feel like Dr. Phil. You are going to require strength; not only for you, but for your partner. When your feeling like crabby crab and want to hide in your shell, you may have to dig deeper. You may have to big the bigger person in a fight and say 'your right'. You may often have to say 'I'm sorry'

Partnership, my Dears is hard. There is so much work to make this thing work, it's no wonder that all these marriages are falling apart. God this is HARD. Do you get it? This is HARD. Hubs and I are very lucky. When I've wanted to pack it in. When I have fallen, and cried. When I was weak and just didn't feel like I could do this another moment. My partner picked me up. When I moaned and complained to you all, that I wasn't sure I had anything left. My partner reminded me that we were fighting the same fight.

Dear Readers, something else. Oh Lord. If you think partnership is hard. Toss in the world, because God knows that the world doesn't really want you to succeed. Its always tossing you things like; moving, new countries, new jobs, illness, money (or no money), in laws, out laws, death, and everything in between. Then may come kids. Huney, that alone can drive a wedge in your partnership faster then you could fart!

Am I making sense? This is bloody HARD work! But my loves. It's hard work that pays off in riches you could only imagine. It pays off in ways that you could only dream. To know you always, always have someone in your corner. Just as you are in theirs. To have someone love you for all your qualities, good and bad. To have a partner who will make you an omelette at the buffet because your brain is totally unable to comprehend; eggs, ham, cheese and veg. To know love. Real love. Love that holds all the hard stuff together. Love that makes you laugh. Love that makes you smile. Love that endures what the world is tossing at you. Love that makes having kids that much easier. Love that is worth it all. Worth every damn day of hard work. Worth every tear, every prayer, every moment that brought you and your world crashing down. It will be worth it. Promise. It WILL be WORTH it!!

Now before I wrap up Dear Reader. I want to say this wee disclaimer. You need a partner who IS worth it. If you are in a partnership where you are the 100% and they just aren't. If you are with someone who makes you cry more then smile. If your partner after years, is not holding up their end of this partnership. Then that is another post. Another Monday marriage perhaps?

I wish you all years of happy and hard memories. It will be all worth it. Promise

xx