Marriage Mondays

A Partner Worth the Fight

Well Dear Reader last week we talked about the hard part. Now lets talk about what makes it worth it. Your Partner.

Yes Dear Reader, your partner. You are putting 110% into this, you're going to make sure that your 'other half' is worth it. I'm saying that in the nicest, most loving way.

First lets talk about you. You my loves are worth all the riches in the world. You are worth more then gold and jewels. You are worth the sun and the moon and all the planets. You should love yourself enough to see the value in you.  You are special, you are awesome. You're fantastic and wonderful. You are beautiful, inside and out. Dear Readers there is no one as great as you! You need to make sure that in a partnership you see that YOU are worth it first. You are worth it. You are worthy of happiness and joy. You deserve to laugh and smile. You deserve a partner that loves you for you. You deserve a partner who will treat you with respect and love. You are worthy of a partner that loves and adores you like no royalty has ever been. Do you see that?

When you 'signed' on for this; there was no hidden agreement that stated:

I _____________ agree to give up all my happiness and joy for the sake of a relationship with ______________.

You didn't do that, and nor should you!

I'm not saying your partner has to be perfect. I'm saying that they have to be worth it. Just as your worth it!

There will come a time in your relationship that you will question why you are there. It happens! This is normal! This is when one special and magic relationship ingredient comes to play. Communication. You have the right to tell your partner when you are not happy. You have the right to tell them that this isn't working You partner has choices here. They can say 'fuck you, I'm perfect now toughen up', They can say 'wow, I'm sorry you feel this way what can we do' or They can say 'I guess we better get a divorce'. A worthy partner best be saying the middle! I know its hard to have tough conversations. I hate to tell you, that life is full of them and your going to have to get used to it!  Remember your worthy of happiness! If your partner agrees to help, GREAT! This is a wonderful thing! Now if it gets to the point where you've left it too long, please don't be proud. Seek outside help. If your partner is worthy of this, then do it! Don't give up on a relationship because you don't want to see a marriage counsellor!

If your partner does not see the value in your happiness and joy; then I'm afraid to say they aren't worth it.

Your partner will want to be your partner. They will want to make this work. They will want to see you happy! Honest.

If your partner agrees to change then goes back to their old ways and even after a million therapy sessions. I'm afraid your going to have to make some more tough decisions. Are they worth the pain and heart ache?

If your partner is a Bum. A right old Bum. They have little care for the world around them let alone you. This is not worthy of you! You and your paper bag, do not need Prince Ronald! They are a bum and will always be a bum!

What I'm trying to get at here Dear Reader is that you are worthy of a partner. An equal. A Yin to your Yang. You are worthy of it all. You don't need to settle or give up your life and happiness for someone who will never be worthy of you. A tiger will always have strips there is no amount of therapy, pleading or communication that will change them to spots.

I've been very lucky. I have a partner worthy of a thousand fights. My second in Command is worth it all. We have been very close to saying that's it! Our lives have changed us and remolded us. The years haven't always been kind or good. But we are equals who are willing and feel the other worthy of it all. That my loves is what partnership is all about.

Who you are today, is not the person you were when you first started your relationship. That's ok! Your ideas and views on the world will change, and that's ok! Your opinions will change, your life will change, your cities will change, your house will change, your outlook on life will change. All ok! IF your partner is worth it, it will be okay. You see as your changing, so are they. As your growing and evolving, so are they. It's important to have a worthy partner, because none of the change will matter. They will WANT to make it work. They will adapt, just as your adapting! It will work because you two, will make it work. All part of the 110% your putting in!

You see a worthy partner, makes the work WORTH IT!

PLEASE NOTE: your partner is abusive. Please don't take this. Not for the sake of partnership, marriage, your kids (if you have any), family, your dog or any other Tom, Dick or Harry. Please, your worth so much more. This is a very very  touchy subject, one of which I'm not really willing to dive into on my wee blog. Please seek help. There are many organizations out there, for men and women. You do not deserve it and are worthy of more. There is nothing wrong with you. Seek help and leave. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. Just LEAVE. Also remember abuse comes in many forms. Verbal and physical. YOU ARE WORTHY OF MORE THEN THAT SHIT!

So you love yourself enough to recognize a partner worthy of the hard work. What happens if they aren't worth it? What happens if its not getting better? What happens if they aren't a willing participant in the effort your putting in??

Staying tuned for the next Marriage Monday!