Why it takes 20 minutes to wipe the table..

Washing the table at my house consists of washing the table, wiping the chairs and cleaning off the baby's high chair. At a normal house, this is a 5 minute (at most) task. But this isn't an ordinary house..this is a house of 3 kids and 1 crazy mamma...

Shall we start?

6:00 grabbing the dish cloth, I head for the table..I don't even get a corner done before I hear
'Maaam, I gotta pee'
'okay buddy so go'
'I need help with my pants'
head to the bathroom, help Mario with his pants and head back to the table..
'Maaaam, I peed'
'Great buddy, come get your pants'
'I can't'
'Why not?'
'Because there is pee on the floor'
Back to the Bathroom; Dear Reader, there is not pee on the floor. There is a flood of pee on the floor..Gross! Grab a rag and clean up the mess. Put pants back on Mario. Head to the table.
'Maaam'
'What now?!'
'I gotta poop'
'Then, go'
'my pants!'
right, the pants. Take pants off Mario (Again). Make sure he's really on the Loo this time! Back to the table.
'Maaam!'
'Yes, buddy'
'I'm done'
Le sigh...
'There's nothing there buddy'
'Oh, okay' -As he runs off
He doesn't ask for pants, I don't offer
Back to the table-I've only done a 1/4 at this point
Ring, Ring
'hello?'
'Hello, this is Halifax Nat West Calling'
Click
Back to the table-as I head into the kitchen, I notice Luigi sitting in front of the (locked) pantry..eating, bouillon cubes..snuck open from the tiny crack he could open at the bottom..
'Dude, really..are you really eating chicken bouillon? Go play with something else!'
Half the table done!
bong bong bong...bong bong.. (can't you tell this is the sound of golf balls?)
'What the heck is going on?!'
Mario and Luigi have taken golf balls from daddy's golf bag and are seeing which brother can have a golf ball bounce off them better...
'Okay, how about no?!' Take the balls, shut the office. Hand Luigi a plastic ball and suggest that Mario get some pants on...back to the table..Yes I'm still cleaning the table!
Ring Ring
'Hello?'
'This is free message, please don't hang up'
click
Done the table!
clang clang clang clang..
'What in Sam Hill?!'
Luigi running for his life while holding a handful of DVDs
Save the DVD's, Hand him blocks, head back to the table.
Get a chair done!
Ring Ring..
'Seriously?'- We know approximately 5 people in this country'
'Hello?'
'Hello Tiffany, it's Tony the Lawnman...does your lawn need a hair cut'
'yes'
click -love this man..I hear from him once a fortnight and it's not more then 30 seconds
Another chair done!
'Maaaam!'
'What??!!'
'Luigi is eating cream!'
'Oh hell!'

I would love to say that I rushed to rescue the cream. But I knew what he was eating was organic and natural..so yes I left him so I could finish the table. 20 minutes later..I wasn't even done. But I tossed in the towel and called it a night.

My house isn't neat. It's clean and passable..but untidy..is it any wonder? Really?