When I had my first born I promised I would NEVER be that crazy parent that screams at her kids and spanks them when they don't listen. Well dear Reader, I am now that mum. I am that mum who's voice raises 12 octaves when the no one is listening. I am that mum with the screechy voice, to which her kids mock. I am the mum with the wooden spoon.
I have never been a fan of spanking, I always thought 'there are better ways'. My stepmum spanked and I never liked when my siblings ran screaming in fear. I never wanted to go down that road. In hopes of detouring there, I tried all the other 'nanny' methods. Time out, taking away toys, getting down to their level, taking away special things...I tried them all dear Reader. The result? Well it was a joke! The princess would often put herself in timeout, Mario would rather a temper from hell in his room and Luigi just doesn't get it. Punishment of the 'today' variety just doesn't work for my kids. I find them often going back to the 'naughty' activities they were doing before I went crazy.
I really feel in today's world, most parents are afraid to discipline their children. Fear of their children not liking them, fear of what other parents will say, fear of going to far. I really believe that this 'fear' has rubbed off on our children and they are now immune to these new methods.
I was never spanked as a child. I was hit. Seriously. The few times my dad flew off the handle I felt it. This is not the discipline I want for us to use for our children. I don't want us to discipline out of anger and I don't want us to discipline for them just being children. I'm talking about disciplining our children because they aren't listening. I'm talking about disciplining for hurting others, or maybe themselves. I'm talking about disciplining because they truly are being naughty.
My number one rule for discipline is never do it when angry. I would rather walk away from the situation, take 5 and think about what I need to do and collect my thoughts before acting. I know this isn't always practical...but you know when you need that 5 minutes...
So the wooden spoon?!
Yes, it's my new tactic. A tactic that seems to be; surprisingly, working. After a warning they get the spoon. I'm not talking about walking over to them and beating them until they are blue. I'm talking about a swift swat on the bum. My children now know that if mamma gets out the spoon that they have deserved it. Most of the time they stand there and take it. This is strange to me. Very strange. The spoon has been resolving issues left right and center and now in some cases that I needed it before..I don't.
I'm not promoting child abuse here. I think child abuse is a serious problem. Very serious. We don't need to take any test or classes in order to get a parent license and in some cases and in some people..it's needed. Please don't think that this is what I'm trying to do here.
I want you to be confident enough as a parent to pull out the tactics that work for you. Maybe standing on your head and telling jokes works. Maybe it's time out. Maybe it's bed early. Maybe you just need to say 'don't'. Maybe it's a spoon. I don't know. I have found a method, that I swore I would never use. It's working. The kids know about it and they are now listening (well as much as 3 kids can listen!) Please don't be afraid of disciplining your children. They need it. They need to know that you mean business and your not going to take shit. They need to know that the world isn't going to take their shit. Discipline in our children needs take place!
I am now in some cases much more calm about things and I know I have a plan. The children know this plan. I have set out when it needs to be used and when a simple talking to needs to take place. I feel confident in my choice and confidence in parenting is really hard to achieve. I know it's hard being a parent, but please feel confident in the choices you make and stick with them! Kids smell fear and if your afraid, then nothing is going to work!
Remember Happy parents = Happy children!
Be confident and don't be afraid!
xo
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